Mark Twain Speaking

16. Whitefriars Club

72 MARK TWAIN SPEAKING statuary in Leicester Square / It was dilapidated. An equestrian statue of a king was minus head and limbs, and the horse was also incomplete . JudgeJeffreys / George, first Baron Jeffreys ofWem (1648-89). British jurist. As Lord Chancellor of England, he was notorious for flagrant injustice during the trials, known as "Bloody Assizes," of defendants involved in the Monmouth rebellion of 1685. that matchless Hyde Park / Public cabs were not admitted to Hyde Park-only fashionable private carriages. "Mabille" / Jardin Mabille, Paris. It was a popular resort for dancing and other diversions, much frequented by women of easy virtue. In Innocents Abroad, Mark Twain says that he and his companions visited Jardin Mabille but did not stay long. Albert Memorial/The audience appreciated the irony of equating Prince Albert with Wellington and Nelson.· 16 · In a letter to Mother Fairbanks, Mark Twain said that his reception in Britain was like the homecoming ofthe prodigal son. Assuredly the latchstring was out everywhere for the entertaining American, who was the heir apparent of Artemus Ward, and the fatted calf awaited him wherever he went. Small wonder that he conceived afondness for England, its people, its ways, and its landscape, that he never entirely lost thereafter. Dinner Speech Whitefriars Club, London, ca. October 1872 Gentlemen: I thank you very heartily, indeed, for this expression of kindness toward me. What I have done for England and civilization in the arduous affairs which I have engaged in-that is good-that is so smooth that I will say it again and again-what I have done for England and civilization in the arduous part I have performed I have done with a simple-hearted devotion and no hope of reward. I am MARK TWAIN SPEAKING 73 proud, I am very proud, that it was reserved for me to find Dr. Livingstone, and for Mr. Stanley to get all the credit. I hunted for that man in Africa, all over seventy-five or one hundred parishes, thousands and thousands of miles in the wilds and deserts, all over the place, sometimes riding Negroes and sometimes traveling by rail. I didn't mind the rail or anything else, so that I didn't come in for the tar and feathers. I found that man at Ujiji-a place you may remember if you have ever been there-and it was a very great satisfaction that I found himjust in the nick of time. I found that poor old man deserted by his niggers and by his geographers, deserted by all of his kind, except the gorillas-dejected, miserable, famishing, absolutely famishing ; but he was eloquent. Just as I found him he had eaten his last elephant, and he said to me, "God knows where I shall get another." He had nothing to wear, except his venerable and honorable naval suit, and nothing to eat but his diary. But I said to him, "It's all right, I have discovered you, and Stanley will be here by the four o'clock train, and will discover you officially, and then we will turn to and have a reg'lar good time." I said, "Cheer up, for Stanley has got corn, ammunition, glass beads, hymn books, whiskey and everything which the human heart can desire; he has got all kinds of valuables, including telegraph poles and a few cartloads of money. By this time, communication has been made with the land of Bibles and civilization, and property will advance." And then we surveyed all that country, from Ujiji, through Unanogo and other places, to Unyanyembe. I mention these names simply for your edification, nothing more-do not expect it-particularly as intelligence to the Royal Geographic Society. And then, having filled up the old man, we were all too full for utterance, and departed. We have since then feasted on honors. Stanley has received a snuff box, and I have received considerable snuff; he has got to write a book and gather in the rest of the credit, and I am going to levy on the copyright and to collect the money. Nothing comes amiss to me-eash or credit; but, seriously, I do feel that Stanley is the chief man, and an illustrious one, and I do applaud him with all my heart. Whether he is an American or a Welshman by birth, or one, or both, matters not to me. So far as I am personally concerned, I am simply here to stay a few...