Mark Twain Speaking

108. Lotos Club

MARK TWAIN SPEAKING· 108 · 349 The Lotos Club assembled a distinguished gathering to welcome the returned traveler. Among those celebrating the homecoming of "The Dean ofAmerican Humor" were Governor-elect Benjamin B. Odell, jr.,former Speaker Thomas B. Reed, Senator Depew, Howells, McKelway, Aldrich, Booker T. Washington , Henry Rogers, George Harvey, Augustus Thomas, john Kendrick Bangs, and Moncure D. Conway. Mark Twain absentmindedly got his dates mixed, failed to appear on time, and had to be summoned from his hotel. His late arrival so delayed the dinner that the speaking did not begin until 10 P.M., but to veteran banqueters the hour was inconsequential. Dinner Speech Lotos Club Dinnerfor Mark Twain, New York, November 10,1900 I thank you for this greeting; I thank you all out of my heart, for this is a fraternal welcome-a welcome too magnificent for a humble Missourian such as I am, far from his native haunts on the banks of the Mississippi; yet my modesty is in a degree fortified by observing that I am not the only Missourian who has been honored here tonight, for I see at this very table-here is a Missourian, and there is a Missourian, and there is another Missourian-and Hendrix and Clemens; and last but not least, the greatest Missourian of them all-here he sits-Tom Reed, who has always concealed his birth till now. They tell me that since I have been away Reed has deserted politics and is now leading a creditable life. He has reformed, and God prosper him; and I judge, by a remark which he made upstairs a while ago, that he had found a new business that is utterly suited to his make and constitution, and all he is doing now is that he is around raising the average of personal beauty. But I am grateful to the president for the kind words which he has said of me, and it is not for me to say whether these praises were deserved or not. I prefer to accept them just as they stand, without concerning myself with the statistics upon which they have been built, but only with that large matter, that essential matter, the good fellowship , the kindliness, the magnanimity, and generosity that prompted 350 MARK TWAIN SPEAKING their utterance. Your president has referred to certain burdens which I was weighted with. I am glad he did, as it gives me an opportunity which I wanted. To speak of those debts, you all know what he meant when he referred to it, and of the poor bankrupt firm of Charles L. Webster & Co. No one has said a word about those creditors. There were ninety-six creditors in all, and not by a finger's weight did ninety-five out of the ninety-six add to the burden of that time. They treated me well; they treated me handsomely. I never knew lowed them anything; not a sign came from them. "Don't you worry, and don't you hurry," was what they said. How I wish I could have creditors of that kind always! Really, I recognize it as a personal loss to myself to be out of debt. lowe those ninety-five creditors a debt of homage, and I pay it now in such measure as one may pay so fine a debt in mere words. I wasn't personally acquainted with ten of them, you know, and yet they said, "Don't you worry, and don't you hurry." I know that phrase by heart, and if all the other music should perish out of the world it would still sing to me. You are always very kind in saying things about me, but you have forgotten those creditors. They were the handsomest people I ever knew. They were handsomer than I was-handsomer than Tom Reed. How many things have happened in the seven years I have been away from home! We have fought a righteous war, and a righteous war is a rare thing in history. We have turned aside from our own comfort and seen to it that freedom should exist not only within our own gates, but in our own neighborhood. We have set Cuba free and placed her among the galaxy of free nations of the world. We started out to set those poor Filipinos free, too, and why that most righteous purpose of ours has apparently miscarried I suppose I shall never know. But we have made a...