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Publishing  The first time I went to a panel discussion on how to get published, it took me months to recover. The independent publisher who sat on the panel spent much of his time prophesizing the demise of his financially strapped company. The representative from one of the big publishing houses lectured on the need for writers to do more market research.The agent warned, Be prepared to get your heart broken because publishers are in the business of making money, so the literary merits of a work won’t be enough to make it sell. And the successful author on the panel actually did a role-play to demonstrate how, as she put it, “editors aren’t going to give a shit about your writing.” The panel concluded with a string of dire warnings: “Don’t quit your day job.” “Don’t expect writing to feed your goldfish, let alone your family.” “Don’t think getting published will make you happy.” Obviously. Now that I have seen a few of my own books in print, I can understand why insiders feel the need to give aspiring authors a reality check about the business of publishing. Like the author who did the role-play, I also find myself feeling compelled to warn the uninitiated about the challenges that lie ahead. The other day a woman told me that she had a great idea for a book about her now-healthy seven-year-old son. The mother’s emotions were palpable as she described the boy’s struggle to overcome a rare disease, and how he had defied his doctor’s bleak prediction that he wouldn’t survive past infancy. Meanwhile, the whole time this woman is talking I’m thinking, Yeah, yeah, everybody’s got a great book idea. So what makes your kid’s story any better than all the rest? That’s when I knew it was time for another reality check. Not the kind you get from publishing panels and insiders, but the kind you can only get from being around writers who are engaged in the act of writing. Writers benefit from the company of other writers for all sorts of reasons, one of the most important being to serve as a reminder that our work matters outside the publishing realm, separate from its marketing or income-earning potential. With this kind of feedback—an affirmation of the writing process itself—writers learn one of the first and most important lessons about publishing. If you write what truly interests you, if you write from the heart, you are much more likely to produce the kind of books that editors will ultimately buy. Yes, finding a publisher can be challenging, and the word most of us are likely to hear a lot is “pass.” On the other hand, writers are offered publishing contracts every day—so why not you? Why not me? One of the things I’ve learned in my own efforts to get published is that it helps to go to panel discussions to understand the business of publishing, but it also helps to be part of a community of writers who know how to mix business with pleasure . Here are ten good reasons why writers should stick together before, during, and after the publishing process. Who else can relate? You know how mothers love to swap childbirth stories, even if their children are now in their fifties? Writers enjoy the same kind of bonding experience when talking about creating their books. “How long did it take?” “Was it painful?” “Did you opt for drugs or go without?” Who else but another writer can fully appreciate the gory details and rewards of this labor of love we call writing? Perspective: I used to feel sorry for myself because I often have to get up at four a.m. to find enough quality time to write. Then I kept meeting or reading about other writers who do the exact same thing. Writers get up at four a.m. That’s just what we do, whether you’re a working mom like me, or a retired insurance executive like Ted Kooser, the poet laureate of the United States. Understanding this fact of a writer’s life has not only given me perspective, but also the names of people I can call if I need someone to talk to at that ridiculous hour. Deadlines: Some of the most prolific members of...

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