-
“I Beg All My Brothers and Sisters Not to be Disturbed or Angry in their Infirmities”: Transition and Loss at the End of Life
- Franciscan Institute Publications
- Chapter
- Additional Information
“i beg all my brOtHers anD sisters nOt tO be DisturbeD Or angry in tHeir inFirmities”: transitiOn anD lOss at tHe enD OF liFe mary petrOsky, F.m.m. I’ve learned many things throughout my life especially from living in and with other cultures. During my years in Papua New Guinea, I came to appreciate the New Guineans’ use of inductive reasoning. We westerners go from the general to the particular (deductive), while most often the New Guineans move from the particular to the general . Our brothers and sisters in transition are very much in the inductive mode! Transition is very particular to each one. In presenting this session there is great value in using these two approaches to transition. I will present a particular experience of transition at our retirement center in Providence, Rhode Island which took place in the mid-90s. Kate will focus on three important aspects/ingredients of a healthy transition: 1. Mindfulness, 2. Wisdom, 3. Transparency – in all of life, which certainly prepare one for the particular transitions of life. How do we help our brothers and sisters to accept the new ministry of aging, not ministry to the aging? What are some of the practical aspects of bringing others, and ourselves, to the point of accepting that the diminishment which is happening in our bodies, our minds, and our spirits, calls us to enter into a new phase of our lives? This transition most often means less physical activity with the gradual (if not sudden) withdrawal from the ministries which gave us life. Mary Petrosky 42 Transition probably begins with part-time, or limited involvement in ministry and eventually to total withdrawal (retirement). Then comes the move to a retirement community, or an Assisted Living community and then to a Nursing Home, if needed. The person who chooses or accepts such a transfer will adjust more easily than the one who has been obliged to make the transfer (due to physical or mental condition) and may be in denial of the need. Staffing of our facilities to which the person is transferred is extremely important. Our administrators spend much time, effort and finances to hire competent staff who are imbued with a Franciscan joy and compassion. Sometimes our cleaning staff are the people who best exhibit this quality to our residents. Many of our staff members are new immigrants to this country and know what it means to come into a new environment, even world, so different from what they had previously known. Our residents are now in a “new world” from the one in which they had previously served. One of the greatest challenges for a newly arrived brother or sister, and for the staff, is to provide, not only loving and competent care, but to encourage and support the resident in as much productive activity as is possible. I have witnessed that the most difficult adjustment for the newly arrived brother or sister, is to have nothing to “get out of bed for.” The sister or brother, if still able to contribute something from the wisdom and riches of his or her life or experiences, should be encouraged and enabled to do so. Assisted Living facilities differ greatly from that of nursing home settings. Each situation brings a unique and difficult challenge to the staff. The physical and emotional health of each resident is the basic consideration for the possibility of some limited involvement in ministry. One very important ministry for the residents is the ministry of prayer. At our assisted living facility in Providence, RI, the telephone receptionist and many of the sisters in residence remark how frequently requests are received from neighbors, families, friends. The community at large views the monastery/convent as a “powerhouse of prayer.” And the sisters and brothers diligently and seriously respond to these requests. In the mid-nineties, we F.M.M. had the experience of transferring twenty of our sisters from our “Infirmary” (as it was first called in the [44.200.210.43] Project MUSE (2024-03-28 14:51 GMT) TransiTion and loss aT THe end oF liFe 43 30s) to a Nursing home, operated by the diocese of Providence. We were unable to be licensed as a nursing home facility for many reasons, mainly due to stringent restrictions for nursing home facilities re: fire codes, sprinkler systems, etc. There was much preparation of/and/with the twenty sisters who were to be transferred. For three months, weekly meetings were held...