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Questions Southern Baptists Never Ask
- University of North Texas Press
- Chapter
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Questions Southern Baptists Never Ask j If being sucked out of an airplane to meet Jesus in the Rapture is devoutly to be desired, why not buy a ticket on Ed’s Cut Rate Airline and meet him sooner? What is the point of the rapture if you can’t enjoy the misery of those left behind? If the Bible is literally true why is grape juice substituted for wine? If the Bible is literally true why didn’t St. Peter turn to stone? If Paul meant the church and not husbands and wives when he wrote “submit yourselves to one another,” was the church in Ephesus for singles? If women can’t be pastors because the Bible says “husband ,” why do girlfriends have to be submissive when the Bible says “wives?” If the Bible means “men only” when it says “husband of one wife” does the Bible mean “women only” when it says that a woman whose husband is dead does not commit adultery if she remarries? What Southern Baptist agency gave King James the authority to authorize the King James Baptist Bible? Can that authority be taken away by the next Southern Baptist Convention? Why am I and other Baptists more likely to spend time in jail than in a homeless shelter? If Jesus is the truth, is Santa Claus a lie? If Jesus is the way, what is capitalism? If Jesus is the life, what is retirement? 59 When Paul said the purpose of labor was to support the weak did he refer to the minimum wage or did he intend the rich to work for the poor? If Paul said Christians were to be in debt to no one, why is it okay to borrow money to buy a car? a house? to finance the church building fund? If politics corrupts candidates why are we told to vote for Christians? If my life is the only Bible some people will ever see, are they reading the bowdlerized edition? If “once saved always saved” is true, why is Bill Clinton consigned to hell? Al Gore? Jesse Jackson? If God can save us from Satan and temptation and women and our own sinful selves, why can’t he save us from church building programs? If children are not condemned for their sins until they reach the age of “accountability,” is there an age of unaccountability for old folks? If God permits children to be loud, disruptive , and argumentative does he permit old folks to be loud, disruptive, and argumentative? Does God practice age discrimination ? Is scriptural perversion, distorting the Bible for one’s own purpose, as wicked as sexual perversion? Was the fear of jail the beginning of tax-paying? If the “human statue” in the mall in Wichita Falls can hold a position for hours without taking any action, is he a Southern Baptist or a role model for all Christians? If God answers prayer why do televangelists need to ask us for money? When the meek inherit the earth, will televangelists ask us to give it to them? Did we boycott Disney because Mickey is gay or because Minnie wants to be a minister? Can a wife who is really slow be considered truly submissive ? What good is prayer if God is the only one who hears it? 60 SLOUCHING TOWARD ZION AND MORE LIES [3.84.228.68] Project MUSE (2024-03-29 11:01 GMT) How can we enjoy heaven if we don’t know the misery of those in hell? If Southern Baptists had been at the wedding in Cana would they have stood in a corner and judged Jesus? Would they have walked out when he turned water into wine? Was the first Southern Baptist John the Baptist or John Calvin? If Jesus didn’t die for everyone, why do we have to send missionaries all over the world? If He has the whole world in His hands, why is it going to hell with a handshake? If a picture is worth a thousand words, why can’t the photographer who took my picture for the church directory be sued for slander? Is being found guilty of blasphemy and treason a theological or a legal redundancy? If salvation means being whole why do I have to surrender my mind to be a Southern Baptist? Is extremism in the name of God a Christian virtue? If the Baptist Faith and Message is true and everyone has to believe it, why does it have...