The Bird is Gone: A Manifesto

Terms

ITERMS abergeny- adj., arch., colloq. INDIAN. Bacteen (bak - ten)- 1. the mendicant barber -no 2. holdover from the pre-CoNsERVATION days, when INDIANS still cut their hair -no Barefoot No Guns-- famous INDIAN martial artist. big chief-I. methylenedioxymethamphetamine -n., Pharm. 2. a big, red tablet -n., colloq. Blackhawk's Revenge-I. anorexia nervosa -n., euph. 2. what some Americans claim to have 'caught' from looking at photographs of INDIANS of the Reservation Era -no BLM- n., Organis. Bureau of Land Management. border-I. no man's land between America and the INDIAN TERRTTORIES -n., Geog. 2. where you exile TOMATOES -no Syn. 1. redline, 164 ISTEPHEN GRAHAM JONES fringe, strip, brink, track, supercollider, new medicine line, hardline, end of the end of the trail. 2. RMZ. 3. the looking glass. Brasscalves-- 1. IHS-sponsored fitness club and resale shop -n., Estab. 2. the first of the INDIAN businesses to barter for dues -no Bright Eyes-- myoid name. BTLS-- 1. Born Too Late Syndrome -n., Psychol. 2. a psychosomatic condition -n., Pathol. Bush Whacker- sullen trickster ofSUSANNAH OF THE MOUNTIES, played of course by Long Lance. cat stand- n., arch. nineteenth-century slang for roadside bordello. Charity Stripers-- n., pl. pep-squad for the WARRIORS, the premiere INDIAN basketball team of the TERRITORIES. chassis jones-- n., Psychol. the distinct and undeniable need for a frame. [back-formation from 'basketball jones,' 'cigarette jones,' etc.] Code- 1. the pamphlet distributed to all INDIANS at the BORDER, as condition of entry -no 2. a cultural primer or guidebook on INDIAN etiquette -n., Socio. Columbus Day- n., Hist. 21 May. ConservationAct-n., Hist. the accidental solution to the 'Indian Problem ' (under pressure from Keep America Beautiful, the American Congress signed into law an aggressive bill requiring 'the restoration of all indigenous flora and fauna to the Great Plains.' As wildlife biologists soon pointed out, though, for a disturbance-dependent landscape to regain anything approaching self-sufficiency-to say nothing ofmomentum-the reintroduced grass (buchloedactyloides) needed buffalo (bison bison) to 'disturb' it, and, just as the prairie dog (cynomys ludovicianus) needed the disturbance ofthe blackfooted ferrett (mustela nigripes), so did the burgeoning herds of reintroduced buffalo need the INDIAN (canis latrans)). cowdrops-- n., pl., Pharm. mild livestock tranquilizers popular before IHS reformed. Daily Bison- n., Perio. irregular, independent newspaper popular in the TERRrroRIEs. 'dance'- what Clark said to his black 'manservant' York, in spite of his frostbitten penis. Day of the Dead- n., Hist. ten months after the CONSERVATION ACT and the resulting SKIN PARADE (i.e., the winter after the GREAT PLAINS FIRE), the North American INDIAN population doubled and then THE BIRD IS GONE 1165 halvedjust as fast, the outskirts oftown silent as the women walked out into the grass with decorated shoeboxes, their stillborn children who, according to news accounts, rose up from their cradleboard caskets the following spring as buffalo. diabetes-- n., Pathol. as Eddie Dial says: 'when I can smell the sugar in my urine, I know then that I'm my father's son, that I'm INDIAN.' dogs of war- n., Socio. rising from the stew. Double Dog- n. famous INDIAN daredevil. Downward Facing Dog-I. famous Coeur d'Alene yogi (not to be confused with Side Crow). factory defects-- n., pl. what each package ofOCCAM'S RAZORS came with: depressions on each side, for thumb and forefinger, and an instruction booklet detailing the dangers of cutting longwise up the arterial vein in your wrist, chewing aspirin, and soaking in warm water well out of reach of the telephone, the neighbors, IHS. Diagrams were included. They were in color (red). Fat Deer Hilton- 1. American hunting resort located in the TERRITORIES -n., Estab. 2. another 'end ofthe trail' anagram -no firing line--- n., Myth. what NATTY CooPER is supposed to have laughed at when there was nobody there to even hear. Fool's Hip- n., Estab. minor bowling alley in Former South Dakota (was Ship ofFools until Mary Boy sold the name but dido't invest the money in a new sign, just told his itinerant, iliterate maintenance man to rearrange the letters into Fools' Ship, which is roughly when he added all the superfluous spelling and essay questions to the backside ofhis application for employment, questions for which LP DEAL was absolutely made). Freak Pipe--- n. the Holy Grail. full-blood- n., Pathol. approximately eight pints. gauche (gosh)-adj. Fr. for 'left,' as in 'gone...