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14 chapter five ThinGs can alw ays GeT worse Once upon a time, a dark force took my spirit away and replaced it with nothing. This happened when I was employed by Magic Movies , and soon after I was no longer employed and became impoverished in material ways. Too grateful for a happy childhood to ask my parents for money, I stood in line to receive free supper downtown . (At the time I didn’t realize that one could rummage for berries on bushes or bake bread out of dirt. And now I understand that fairies choose to live simply on air.) One day—I am not proud to report this—weak and befuddled by hunger, I complained to the sky. Raising my fist high I denounced not only humans, who deserve it of course, but also the entire planet itself. And for good reason, as soon as I raised my fist and proclaimed my frustration—a hump just like my grandmother ’s grew on my back! And then on top of the hump, a small donkey grew, and on top of the donkey, a bird. “Oh, dear,” I thought. I was a little bit worried, but more for the animals than 15 for myself. I had no way to feed two mouths in addition to mine. How would I care for these darling creatures? No matter the hump. I rather liked the lift it gave to my soul. And, I considered, it was true that until then I had suffered from loneliness, for I was the only happy person I knew. Now I could imagine I might become slightly less happy too! Perhaps this was a blessing and I would better fit in with a malcontent culture. But no! After a few moments of such lunatic thinking,I was happy again and only worried for the donkey and bird. After that, any time I did find a piece of bread or apple to eat, the donkey and the bird would snap their mouths at the bread or apple and take it from me,the donkey with her sweet glittering eyes, the bird with her pretty beak. What choice did I have as a good soul but to feed them? The bird was easy to carry, but the donkey was heavy. All day long she would sort of lean her head forward upon my shoulder and turn her head, and stare into my eyes with great adoration. “I really care about you,” I told her. “I really like you a lot.” But it was only a matter of days before I was bent over with pain—just like my grandmother with her hump only worse—and it was then that I understood how we are all animals, dying each moment. Death, the eternal donkey of life, I thought. This phrase filled me with such a light feeling that the donkey-skin and bird-feathers upon me (not to mention the lives they contained) became too heavy to bear in the moment. Under their weight, I collapsed. 16 And I remember falling with a bright grin upon my face—“how lucky I am to have such fine companions!” was the thought that then entered my mind. When I awoke I was in a very white room on a very white bed and seven men in white coats peered down at my face. In the corner of the room I saw in a heap a vast number of colorful feathers (a pink one wafted up in the ventilation). Over my body was a donkey-skin blanket. Into my arm dripped some kind of potion—apple-scented and pink. A new sort of smile seemed lodged on my face. Oh, the indignity of this! The terrible bliss I felt then—I never had known it before ! It was catastrophic. It was unreal. Where was my friend the donkey? Where was my friend the bird? And flat, flat, I tell you. Like my mood, my back was straight as a board. I don’t want the fake magic? I said to the doctors. I’m already happy? Never any reply. After that, I became a new person. After several courses of treatment, at last I was offered three choices. I pointed carefully to Door Number Three. Slowly it opened, onto the forest, straight from the hospital bed. It took many months to clean the apple-pink meds from my veins, but eventually, I returned to my more natural condition. It was slightly more strange...

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