Islay: A Novel

17

235 17 WONDERFUL DAY! SUCCESSFUL MAKE AGREEMENTS WITH THREE DEAF COMPANIES. SILENT ELECTRONICS SAY OK BUILD NEW BRANCH IN SUFFEX. DEAF PUBLISHERS AND CAPTIONERS AGREE LET US REPRESENT EAST USA. BOND AND SCHAFFER ARCHITECTS DEAF INTERESTED IN NEW BRANCH OFFICE THERE SUFFEX. PLEASE TELL ANDY AND CAPTAIN SAVE SOME LAND FOR THAT. GA. GOOD FOR YOU! SURPRISE YOU SUCCESS. NEVER DREAM YOU COULD— YOU KNOW I CAN! Lyson butted in, his typing speed a measure of his indignation. GA. ARE YOU STAYING WITH THE DOWIES?— OF COURSE! YOU KNOW THAT! GA. LYSON! ARE YOU MAD AT ME Q GA. YOU ALWAYS THINK ME DUMB, CANT DO ANYTHING GA. SORRY. NOT MEAN TO. JUST SILLY ME. CANT HELP WORRY BECAUSE I MISS YOU VERY MUCH. SHOULD KNOW BETTER MYSELF THAT THE DOWIES CAN TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU. HOW ARE THEY QQ GA. The Reverend urged Lyson aside and took the seat himself and typed: THE MOST DEAR REVEREND CALVIN DOWIE HERE. SO GLAD TO FINALLY MAKE CONTACT WITH YOU MY 236 Douglas Bullard MOST DEAR FAVORITE PARISHIONER! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN MY MOST DEAR Q GA. The machine was silent for a long moment and resumed life: CALVIN! SO GLAD LYSON IS IN YOUR HANDS. I AM FINE. JUST LONESOME FOR MY HUSBAND. SILLY ME WORRY ALL THE TIME, BUT NOW DON’T HAVE TO. DID HE GIVE YOU ANY PROBLEMS QQ HOPE NOT! GA. LYSON IS A MOST DEAR WONDERFUL MAN. I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU FOR FINDING SUCH A MOST DEAR HUSBAND. IT HAS BEEN MY GREATEST PLEASURE HAVING HIM HERE WITH US AND DRIVING HIM AROUND TO VARIOUS DEAF BUSINESSES. REALLY, IM AFRAID IM MORE TROUBLE THAN HE IS. HE IS THE SUCCESSFUL ONE, FULLY QUALIFIED CAPABLY AND MORALLY TO BE GOVERNOR. HE DOESNT NEED MY HELP EXCEPT FOR DIVINE DIRECTION GA. DIRECTIONS! I KNOW HIS WAY, ALWAYS NEED DIRECTIONS, EASY GET LOST. I’M SO GLAD YOU ARE THERE WITH HIM. HATE IDEA HIM GET LOST IN LOS ANGELES. NEVER FIND HIM AGAIN. GA. I DONT THINK HE IS THAT EASILY LOST. I JUST HELP HIM SAVE TIME NOT HAVING TO SEARCH ALL OVER LOS ANGELES. BY THE WAY, MY MOST DEAR, WHEN CAN WE SEE YOU Q GA. WHY NOT YOU MOVE HERE Q. HAVE HUGE LOVELY CHURCH. TALL STEEPLE HAVE OFFICE HIGH UPSTAIRS. MANY COLUMNS. HAVE BIG APARTMENT. DONT TELL LYSON, ALREADY BOUGHT CHURCH FOR YOU. MANY MANY DEAF ALREADY MOVE HERE. NEED YOU! GA. Reverend Dowie looked quickly over his shoulder. Lyson had seen but didn’t mind at all. Lyson was a good sport and smiled. Think votes. Think votes, Lyson chuckled to himself as he rocked himself islay 237 on his heels, his hands clasped behind his back, watching the Reverend typing: LYSON THINKS ITS A GOOD IDEA TOO. GA. DIDNT KNOW HE IS INTERESTED IN CHURCH. HOW HAPPEN Q GA. DONT KNOW. THE WAYS OF GOD ARE MYSTERIOUS AND WONDROUS, the Reverend typed happily, feeling right in his own element. MAKES YOU VERY HUMBLE. AGREE Q GA. IF GOD CAN DO THAT, MAYBE HE CAN BRING YOU HERE AND MAKE YOU THE TOP DEAF MINISTER GA. THE FIRST SHALL BE LAST, Reverend Dowie hastened to type, THE LAST SHALL BE FIRST. GA. RIGHT! FOR YEARS YOU HAVE BEEN LAST. WE SHALL MAKE YOU FIRST. GA. NAUGHTY YOU! THAT IS GOD HIS JOB— SORRY! I MEAN WITH HIS HELP. GA. CORRECT. CORRECT. NEVER FORGET THAT, MY MOST DEAR FAVORITE PARISHIONER. WITHOUT GOD WE ARE TOTALLY COMPLETELY THOROUGHLY ABSOLUTELY HELPLESS AND NOTHING WE DO CAN HAVE ANY GOOD. ALWAYS ASK HIM FIRST, THEN OBEY HIM. GA. IM WORRIED NOW. MAYBE IT WAS A MISTAKE TO BUY THAT CHURCH WITHOUT FIRST ASKING GOD HIS PERMISSION GA. NOT NECESSARILY. DID YOU BUY IT FOR COMMERCIAL PURPOSES Q GA. COMMERCIAL QQQ WHAT DO YOU MEAN QQQ GA. I MEAN WERE YOU THINKING OF WHAT THE LORD TOLD ADAM AND EVE, TO GO FORTH, BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY THEIR PROFITS GA. 238 Douglas Bullard NO! NEVER! I SAID I BOUGHT FOR YOU. GA. The machine typed so furiously that the Reverend felt ashamed. GOOD. GOOD. THEN GOD CAN LOOK WITH FAVOR UPON THAT CHURCH. I WILL PRAY WITH GERALDINE AND EVANGELINE AND SEEK GOD HIS WILL AND GUIDANCE, AND LEARN IF HE THINKS I DESERVE SUCH A WONDERFUL CHURCH. THANK YOU MY MOST DEAR SWEET MARY. GA. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS...