Deaf in DC: A Memoir

45. Up in Smoke!

186 45 Up in Smoke! THE NUMBER OF SMOKERS IN THE UNITED STATES HAS gone down dramatically during the last few decades. When I arrived here in 1967, almost everyone smoked. Now, smokers are an exception. Most people either do not smoke or are in the process of quitting. Helping people quit smoking has become a billion dollar industry. I also, finally, quit smoking. I started smoking when I was thirteen. Smoking in Gagret meant being a man and being macho. And in Gagret, almost everyone was macho and, therefore, smoked. Only a few didn’t. It started when Ramesh visited Gagret during the summer as usual. He boasted that he had started smoking and needed his fix. I had not smoked yet but didn’t want to sound backward, so I told him I also had started smoking. Of course, a thirteen-year-old boy couldn’t smoke in public, even in Gagret. We had to find a place to smoke and, before that, we had to buy cigarettes. Since everyone knew everyone else in Gagret, buying a cigarette (one could buy one cigarette instead of a pack in Gagret) wasn’t easy. The few shops that sold cigarettes were owned by older people who would either refuse to sell a cigarette to us or report it to Babuji. So we had to case various shops and when we saw one being manned by a young guy, we ran to him, took out a paisa, and bought one cigarette. Holding it in safely between two palms, we ran all the way home. I stayed outside while Ramesh stole a matchbox from the kitchen. Then we ran again about half a mile to a safe place in the hills and had our smoke. The cigarette , soggy and bent from all the travels, lasted less than half a minute as we took turns at dragging at it. We choked, coughed, and had tears in our eyes from our efforts. Being macho was not easy. Of course, we got hooked. I used to buy one cigarette and smoke it. Soon, it was a pack. I smoked for the next thirty-two years. However, u p i n s m o k e ! 187 I was a sporadic smoker. I used to quit smoking on the New Year’s Eve for one year and start the next New Year’s Eve. I liked to smoke but didn’t like the cost and knew of its ill effects on health. So this practice of smoking on alternate years was to keep the bad habit and also get a reprieve. When my son Dheeraj was a bit over one year old, he became very interested in my smoking ritual. He would pick up the pack and my lighter and bring to me. That bothered me. I felt like I was giving him a head start in smoking. So after discussing this situation with Nirmala, who was a staunch opponent of smoking, especially mine, I decided that I would stop smoking inside the house and smoke only when I was at work. Nirmala’s idea was that I should quit. Period. I told her I would take the middle way. After dinner, I would take out one cigarette and my lighter and go out. Dheeraj would insist on going with me. I would tell him to stay inside as it was cold (it was winter). He would accept grudgingly. I would go out, light the cigarette, and walk up and down the sidewalk that bordered the lawn. The lofty thought that I was protecting my son from a bad habit blew with the smoke when I saw him staring at me from the window. I moved my smoking boundary further. I would walk a few hundred yards from our home before lighting up. While it got me out of Dheeraj’s sight, it began to bother me. I had a habit that I didn’t want my son to form but was fine to have myself! I have to stop it, I told myself. Neerja, my daughter, began to offer vocal opposition to my smoking once she learned in the first grade that smoking was bad for one’s health. She began to bug me and got a lot of encouragement from her mother in this effort. We were living in Austin at that time. Once, while I was smoking in the garage due to rain, she stood by my side, chattering as usual. She asked...