Vignettes of the Deaf Character and Other Plays

The Expression of a Black and White Man: A Dramatic Monologue

242 The Expression of a Black and White Man A Dramatic Monologue The Setting A folding table set up with college brochures and posters. Jason, a white, 25-year-old Deaf college recruiter enters carrying a folding table and sets up college recruiting materials. JASON: This is easy money. Put up a table. Set up a pile of brochures here; a pile of catalogs there. Unfold this poster and set it up behind everything. Presto—it’s recruitment time! Runny money. Wanna know the occupational hazard of this job? Paper cuts, from flipping open these brochures. Oh—got a customer. Excuse me, . . . my name is Jason Whitelock—call me JW. Would you like to know more about the American University for the Deaf? A-U-D? Ah—lost one. What’s wrong with these minority students? Shi—. (Catches himself.) Why are they so hard to recruit? My boss wants me to call them people of color. I hate that. “People of color.” Do they have colors of the rainbow on their skin? Here comes another one. Excuse me . . . would you like to know more about the American University for the Deaf? A-U-D? Come here, let me show you this beautiful campus. Really awesome stuff here. Come over here, I’m not going to bite you. I’m not asking you to sign anything . Not interested? Where are you from? Hey— What’s the matter with her? Do my hands smell? What a babe. I could . . . . (Gestures that he could screw her.) I don’t mind light brown skin. Looks like a good tan to me. Well, nobody’s interested in improving their intelligence around here. Hey—wanna know another hazard? Meeting these The Expression of a Black and White Man 243 oddball deaf people on recruiting trips. Let me tell you about one I met last month. AUD sent me to this deaf school near Indiana. Indianapoly or something. I can’t spell it. My recruiting partner and I were supposed to “specifically” focus on people of—you got it—rainbow colors. You know who I’m talking about. On the plane over there, I’m thinking I’m probably gonna meet a bunch of Redskins. Indian-apoly, makes sense, right? So, AUD puts me and my partner . . . my job partner—don’t you start giving me that look like I’m a fag. What are you giving me that look for? Anyway, me and my co-worker are staying at a Days Inn. I’m having a breakfast of bacon and eggs. Right in the middle of my meal I notice my table don’t have any napkins. I got egg yolk dripping down my chin. So I turn around to the table behind me and there’s this ni—uh, a black guy sitting there holding up a cup of coffee to his lips. Looked like he was getting ready to kiss it. I asked—politely, you understand—if I could take the extra napkins off his table. He nodded his head with an exasperated look, you know that look that black people have. What was up his ass to give me that look? I looked him in the eyes. No color in his eyes except black. Like one large pupil in each eye. He quickly went back to kissing his coffee like it was his girlfriend. When I turned back around to my eggs, my co-worker, Bob, sign name B over the head, like “Boink!” He always looks like somebody just hit him over the head. Anyhow, “Boink” Bob, came over. He wanted to discuss some traveling details. Bob’s deaf too. More deaf than me. He can’t speak that good, but he’s good with ASL. Anywhere we go, AUD always wants me to be the point man—to speak and sign to people. Shows people deaf can speak and get jobs. We make Bob communicate with lowfunctioning deaf people who can’t speak. So I’m cutting up my eggs watching Bob tell me his plans for the day. Really, I don’t care, but I watch him because it makes him feel important. If he got a job in a hearing company, he 244 The Expression of a Black and White Man probably won’t get the attention he gets from me to make him feel important. You know what I’m talking about? Deaf people that can...