Deaf in Delhi: A Memoir

25. Changes in School and Work

25 Changes in School and Work M R . G O Y L E ’ S D E A T H A F F E C T E D O U R L I V E S way beyond what we had imagined. Suraj told us to continue practicing various skills—negative retouching, taking portraits, developing and printing film, retouching prints, and whatever else we had done before. He asked me to decide on who would do what and then left. Everyone wanted to work in the darkroom, which created some controversy . It took me awhile to restore order, and I had to use the memory of our respected departed teacher to make them follow my directions. We worked very seriously for half the day and then began to slack off. The death of our teacher weighed heavy on us. We wondered who our next teacher would be. After a couple of hours, Kesh suggested we sit down and discuss our plans for the future. I agreed. “Who will teach us new skills and who will criticize and provide input on our work to improve it?” Kesh asked. “We cannot learn photography by ourselves.” All of us agreed that it was a cause for concern. We knew how the AIFD operated. They would ignore us unless we made them understand that a new teacher was a must. We decided to discuss the issue with Suraj. Raj Kishore went to the AIFD office next door and brought Suraj with him. Suraj was not happy at being called by lowly students and asked us why we were making problems. “We need to know when a new teacher will come in,” declared Kesh. “Soon as Mr. Nigam returns,” Suraj said with his usual serious demeanor. “Where is he?” Kesh asked, “Has he gone to England or some other country?” 141 142 deaf in delhi Suraj raised a warning finger at Kesh and told him not to be disrespectful to Mr. Nigam. He was, according to Suraj, out conducing important business. He would return soon. “His best friend has just died,” Kesh continued, “and he is conducting important business?” It was obvious Suraj did not know where Mr. Nigam was. He looked a bit worried about it. I felt sorry for him. He was trying to shield someone whom he respected but also had begun to doubt. I was also impressed with his authority and wished I had even half of it. For the next two weeks, we kept practicing what we already knew. In between, we wasted time talking to each other and sneaking out for long tea breaks while covering for each other. Suraj would come in once in a while to check on us, but all he could do was preach to us. Kesh tried to give him a hard time, but Suraj would cut him off with “Do not talk silly.” We had to wait for Mr. Nigam to return so he could hire a teacher to replace Goyle. But where was he? When was he returning? We were told to shut up and wait. One morning, when we were all working on various projects, Mr. Nigam came rushing into the room. He was fully dressed in a dark suit and tie. He stepped quickly to the table where Goyle’s garlanded photograph was sitting and bowed his head in front of it; he appeared to be crying. We saw his body shake as he sobbed. Suraj came in and patted his shoulder, but Mr. Nigam pushed him away without even looking. He kept his head on his forearm and kept sobbing. Puzzled by his behavior, we looked at each other. To me Kesh signed, “He is fooling us,” when the others were not looking. I did not think of it before, but Kesh was right. The guy was acting. After about a half an hour, Mr. Nigam’s sobs decreased and he let Suraj guide him to a chair. He wiped his tears and refused to look at us. He would look at Goyle’s photograph and start to cry again. This drama went on for more than hour. Finally, his crying subsided and he started to talk to us. “We have been friends for thirteen years. We were like brothers. I do not know how I will be able to live without him.” After that, he began to talk about the future. He was going to get the best teacher for us and soon. Then he was gone. [3...