Deaf in Delhi: A Memoir

14. Becoming a Sadhu

14 Becoming a Sadhu I W A S S T I L L L O O K I N G F O R A C A R E E R . M Y H I G H school education had not prepared me for any jobs, and I thought you have to be able to hear to work for other people. Higher education was out of the question since I knew none of the colleges in Hoshiarpur were going to admit a deaf person. Then, I had an inspiration! I had grown up in a religious family. Bhabhi worshipped Krishna and Rama, as well as other Hindu gods. Babuji meditated for almost an hour daily and read the Bhagavad Gita, a Hindu devotional work in poetic form. Both my widow aunts—Parvati and Savitri—lived for worshipping gods. You could not be anything but religious in such a family. I read the Ramayana and the Mahabharata as well as the Bhagavad Gita without even thinking why I read them. I enjoyed the two epic stories but did not really understand the message in the Bhagavad Gita. It was too deep for me. I decided to test God. Bhua Parvati’s ongoing accusation that my deafness was the result of my refusal to believe in God strengthened my resolve. I had a short private conversation with God and prayed to him to make me hearing: “If you make me hearing, I will worship you all my life and live like a holy man.” I gave my solemn promise to God and gave him three months to prove his existence by making me hearing. For the next three months, I prayed daily after taking my bath. I read the Bhagavad Gita, chanted mantras, and sang various bhajans, or hymns. I had a very strong faith in various gods and was sure that I was going to become hearing within the timeline I had given them. I did not tell anyone about this holy ultimatum, fearing they would make fun of me. Additionally, I wanted this to be a surprise for the family. 81 82 deaf in delhi The deadline passed and I did not regain my hearing. The next day, I stopped worshipping God and declared myself an atheist. I began to make disparaging remarks about sadhus and other holy men, including the Gurkha Baba and the Mahatma of Indora. Bhabhi and Bhua would be shocked at my remarks and would cover their ears in order not to hear my blasphemy. They even complained to Babuji, who, in his own stoic way, told them to ignore me and I would stop. Of course, I did not have the nerve to insult holy men in front of Babuji. However, deep down I still had the faith; not in various gods, but in a God that was watching over me from somewhere. That God did not need a temple or church or mosque; God was there to talk with me whenever I needed him. Gandhi’s belief about God being one helped me shape my belief that religions were just kind of middle parties between people and their gods. I made peace with my own god and left things there. But I was talking about careers! I am coming to that. India is a country of sadhus, or holy men. These sadhus come in all shapes and sizes with all kinds of beliefs and degrees. Educationally, they range from being totally illiterate to being scholars. Some of them roam around the country and others stay in one temple, or ashram—buildings attached to temples. I decided to become a sadhu. Knowing well this choice of “career” would also be ridiculed and rejected, I did not share my decision with anyone—not even with Antru and Tirath who had not minded my designs on becoming a cleander. I just let this idea lay there in the back of my mind and waited for the right opportunity, as I continued to milk the cows and water buffaloes, plow, cut grass, and do all kinds of farm jobs that I hated. ❖ A mahatma, or a great soul, passed through Gagret and stayed a few weeks in our house. He was a learned man who lived in Rishikesh, a holy place not far from the origin of the Ganges. When he had arrived in Gagret and asked for someone religious, a villager had directed him to Babuji’s shop. Babuji talked to him for a while and liked him...