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Reflections of Two Preservice Teachers with Disabilities • 69 Stacy was "horrified that someone would say that to me." The cooperating teacher was kind to Stacy; however, she never critiqued anything Stacy did in the classroom, she did not offer suggestions for improvement, nor did she provide any real guidance . At one meeting after I had observed Stacy teach, the cooperating teacher, Stacy, and I met to discuss the observation. As I made suggestions and pointed out some areas for improvement, the teacher smiled and made comments such as "she's trying hard" and "the children like her." Later as Stacy and I were discussing this placement we talked about how the teacher did everything but "pat Stacy on the head." Stacy wanted to grow as a teacher and found that only positive feedback and smiles were not challenging her to improve her skills. Another incident involved a child in the classroom who would move Stacy's crutches to the other side of the room. This interfered with her ability to move easily about the room. The teacher never stopped the student's behavior, and Stacy was unsuccessful in preventing it as the behavior often happened when her attention was focused on other students. One of the functions of our student teaching seminars was problem solving and brainstorming solutions to situations that came up in classrooms. Stacy presented her dilemma at the seminar, and fellow students made suggestions (e.g., use the crutches as reinforcement). Stacy implemented several of the offered suggestions and the problem was solved. The next placement, Stacy's favorite, was in a self-contained class in a public school. The cooperating teacher treated Stacy "like a student teacher should be treated." She praised the good and critiqued and offered suggestions for the areas that needed improvement. The children in the classroom were very curious about Stacy's disability and crutches, so Stacy taught a lesson on her disability and why she needed crutches. This was very successful and the students and Stacy were much more at ease with her "differences" after this lesson. The teacher provided a number of accommodations for Stacy such as rearranging desks for easier movement and suggesting that students help with the writing on the blackboard. These accommodations and easy acceptance made for a positive experience for all. Stacy felt she grew as a teacher during these seven weeks, based on the feedback from the students in the classroom and the cooperating teacher. This was what she wanted; it made her feel "like every other student teacher in the program." The success she had in the placement was evidenced in her discussions in courses, student teacher seminars, and with other students. Stacy began to regain her self-confidence. Then there was a setback. A job consortium is held each spring for student teachers who will be looking for positions at the beginning of the summer. Districts from all over the United States come to talk to the students, and some interviews are scheduled. All student teachers are released from classroom duties to attend this consortium . Stacy attended with several other students from our program. One district informed Stacy that there would be no jobs in special education for the next year; they then interviewed three other students from the M/PH program and told them there would be at least ten vacancies the next year. Stacy was again devastated, and her peers and I were enraged at this overt discrimination. Stacy began to voice doubts, not about her skills and knowledge, but about the impact her disability had on the people who make district hiring decisions. She believed she could do the job but wondered, "Will anyone hire me?" This question continued to be an issue for Stacy and is one most teachers with a disability ask themselves at some point. The third and final placement was in a self-contained special education school. The cooperating teacher encouraged Stacy to try new activities and to take some risks. Unfortunately, a legal dispute in the district involving the placement of chil- 70 • Cbrutine C. Gil'ner ani) Dianne Raeke Ferrell dren with special needs in segregated schools was heating up at this time. Many people were in and out of the school and classrooms, the teacher and administrator were stressed and involved in many meetings, and the children were disconcerted by having their routines upset. Through all of this Stacy worked hard and succeeded in reducing confusion in her classroom under adverse circumstances. In...

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