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PASCAL SMITH any special schools for deaf students in France are now seeking deaf teachers because the deaf population is starting to mobilize in defense of their language and their rights. Parents of deaf children are also waking up and demanding the use of signing in the schools, which are obliged to adapt to the trend. Large city schools have no trouble locating deaf individuals to recruit for these positions because deaf communities are fairly widespread there. In the particular average-size mountain region town that made me an offer, however, locating an education specialist proved to be more difficult. The school sent requests throughout France, especially to schools for young deaf persons. As I was unemployed at the time, I considered their offer very attractive, especially because as a child I had dreamed of becoming a teacher-a dream that my own instructors felt was unrealistic. After a visit to the school, meetings, and discussions, I found myself hired and suddenly thrust into a very difficult position. With my parents and sisters who are deaf, I had lived until that time nearly exclusively in a deaf community, meeting hearing persons only occasionally when necessary. Now here I was, submerged full-time in an unknown hearing world, and, further, without any professional experience. No deaf person in France can receive a diploma to work with children. Our speech education does not permit us to reach a level high enough for such an achievement. Throughout my school years, I had been repeatedly told that anything even slightly intellectual was too hard for me. My belief in my potential had been suppressed, and naturally I was worried to find myself in a post of responsibility. My First Encounter with the Children and their Parents Then I met the children, a group between six and nine years of age. Initially I was struck by the poverty of their language, and I was obliged to regress in my communications to meet them on their level. For their part, the children, who only occasionally had had the opportunity of meeting adult deaf people, were delighted that a deaf person should corne there to stay, just for their sake. They looked at me wide-eyed, just as I no doubt looked at them. We were equally eager to get to know each other and communicate, but we were not at ease. 670 THE DEAF WAY ~ Deaf/Hearing Interaction What made it truly difficult was that hearing people were always observing us. We needed some time to forget their presence and feel at home with each other. I was even more uncomfortable than the children under the eyes of these hearing observers. They were hearing individuals, yes, but-even worse-they were professionals watching and evaluating me. Almost all novices have had similar feelings, but for a deaf novice, what anguish to experience this from hearing people to whom one feels inferior! The hearing group was not much more relaxed than I was. I commanded enough respect for them to feel they had to sign with me, but they were self-conscious about their own lack of ability in signing and hesitated to communicate. As for the parents, they remained silent during an introductory meeting. It was doubtless my presence that made them react so intensely. For six years or more, they had been asking themselves questions about their child's future. Then suddenly they were confronted with a young deaf adult, the image of what their child might become. My Experience in the Town At first I was happy enough about being hired. But this feeling gave way very quickly to anxiety. I soon felt lost amidst these hearing people. By nature, I'm a great gabber, used to talking a blue streak, but I now found myself completely isolated. The school administrators had been in a hurry to hire a deaf person, and now they were very proud to show me off to everyone. However, in their haste, they had forgotten about the interpreting problem. Of course, I quickly became acquainted with the town's deaf population. But there too my enthusiasm was soon dampened. Coming from a large city, I was used to meeting a lot of deaf people easily. In a mountain town, however, communication is more difficult, and inhabitants are slightly isolated within their region. I found myself with self-absorbed deaf individuals whose social life was very limited-people who were not used to taking responsibilities and had few cultural, political...

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