The Silent Duchess

XXXIX

enfolding in her own belly a man's flesh that was not either a child or an invading enemy. Children find themselves in the body of a woman without her having summoned them, just as the flesh of uncle husband stayed warm inside her without her having ever invited or desired him. But she has desired and willed this body as she desired and willed her own joy. It would not pain and lacerate her as her children did every time she gave birth, but would slip away with the joyful promise of return once the spasm of love had been shared. For so many years of marriage she had thought the body of a man existed only to torment her. And she had yielded to this torment as one yields to the curse of God, a duty that flO woman of refinement could accept without having to swallow gall. Had not Our Lord also swallowed gall in the garden of Gethsemane? Did He not die on the Cross without one word of recrimination? What was her trifling pain suffered in her own bed, compared to the sufferings of Christ? And instead here is a body that is not alien to her, that does not assault her, does not steal from her, does not ask for sacrifice and renunciation, but goes to her confidently and gently. Here is a body that knows how to wait, that takes and knows how to be taken without any kind of force. How will she ever again do without it? XXXIX Peppina Malaga has come back to the house, two small black pigtails tied behind her ears with a piece of string, her feet bare as usual, her legs heavy and swollen, her protruding belly raising her skirt over her shin-bones. Marianna watches her through the window while she gets down from the cart and runs towards Saro. He looks up at the window as if to ask, What am I to do? 'Use not your scythe in the grain of others', says the austere Gaspara Stampa. It is her duty to leave husband and wife together 211 for their own happiness. She will let them have a larger room where they can bring up the new baby. And then: In my repose an inward doubt assails me That ever holds my heart 'twixt life and death. Is it jealousy, that little fool, the 'green-eyed monster', as Shakespeare called it, 'that doth mock the meat it feeds on'? The Duchess Marianna Ucda di Campo Spagnolo, Countess of Paruta, Baroness of Bosco Grande, of Fiame Mendola and of Sollazzi, how can she ever be jealous of a scullery maid, of a fledgling fallen from the nest? But that's exactly how it is: this dark ugly little girl seems to gather up in herself all the joys of paradise. She has the innocence of a pumpkin flower, the freshness of a grape stalk. Marianna tells herself that she would willingly give away all her estates and all her houses just to enter into that young determined little body that jumps down from the cart with the tiny baby curled up in her womb, to go and meet Saro. Her hand releases its hold on the curtain, which falls back to cover the window. The courtyard vanishes and with it the cart pulled by a donkey adorned with plumes, and Peppinedda, who propels her belly towards her husband as if it were a box of jewels. Saro too disappears while clasping his wife close to him and raising his eyes towards Marianna with a look of theatrical resignation. But one can see that he is gratified by this double love. From this moment will begin a life of subterfuges, deceptions, escapes, clandestine meetings. There will be a need to corrupt, to keep others quiet, to erase all traces of every embrace. A sudden resentment clouds Marianna's eyes. She has no intention of falling into such traps, she tells herself. She has provided him with a wife so as to keep him at a distance and not to serve as a cover-up. So then? So then she has to break it off. There is something arrogant about her thoughts, she knows that. She is not taking into account the pleasures of her body, which has woken for the first time to its own fulfilment, nor has she given a thought to Saro's wishes, she does not even consider consulting him. She will...