Woman-to-Woman Sexual Violence: Does She Call It Rape?

8: Lesbian- and Bi-Friendly Services

Lesbian- and Bi-Friendly Services The only way I felt I could leave the relationship was to die. It got to the point where my plans were set and I was driving within three feet of a semi driving 80 mph that I realized I needed to find someone safe to talk to. The hardest call to make was to Rape and Abuse Crisis Center. Would they accept me as a lesbian woman? Would they turn me away? Luckily, I wasn’t [turned away]. (Ariel) I went to a couple of groups for women with domestic violence, but had heterosexual partners, and I just wasn’t comfortable. It was very hard to talk about things ’cause sometimes they look at you like, ‘‘how could this be?’’ (Roxanne) [A shelter I worked at] was really invested in the whole analysis about the patriarchy , and really into ‘‘We’re all women here, therefore we’re all safe’’ routine. Lesbians are going to start a utopia because we’re all women. . . . So I remember sitting there through the training—’cause when I went to volunteer at the shelter I was already in this relationship—and I remember sitting through the training thinking, gosh, this sounds familiar, but thinking, but it’s not a man. And it was laid out that simplistically. Obviously I was in some denial myself, but I think that their analysis of battering not only didn’t include lesbian battering but made lesbian battering pretty much impossible. (Cecile) How to best address woman-to-woman sexual violence? Homophobia, biphobia , sexism, and heterosexism condemn lesbians and bisexual women to inferior social status. Our society sexualizes violence in the media while denouncing sex education in the schools, thus encouraging sexual violence. As individuals, we balk at discussing sexual matters, abusive or otherwise. The idea of female perpetrators runs contrary to gender ideology and patriarchal analysis. Once survivors publicly give voice to their experiences of woman-to-woman sexual violence, how can we translate their needs and the needs of perpetrators into social services, laws, and public opinion that will work together to stop this violence? 149 150 W O M A N - T O - W O M A N S E X U A L V I O L E N C E Lack of Services Sexual violence survivors are currently caught in a chicken-and-egg dilemma. Rape crisis and domestic violence agencies say they do not have lesbian-specific or bisexual-specific services because there are few or no requests for them. Are there no requests because lesbians and bisexuals do not feel welcome or that the services they seek are not available? In a survey about specifically lesbian services of 566 domestic violence service providers , Renzetti found that while the vast majority stated they welcomed lesbian clients, the majority did not act to ensure that lesbian clients were aware of their services. They did not promote services for lesbians, such as offering support groups for lesbians, brochures on lesbian battering, or ads in the gay/lesbian press. Similarly, while staff received training on homophobia , they rarely had training on lesbian battering.1 The result of these barriers and shortcomings is that services for lesbians and gay men are thirty years behind the battered women’s movement, according to Diane Dolan-Soto, domestic violence program coordinator at the New York Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project.2 For many survivors, this lack of services is an old and familiar pattern. Their incest may not have been reported or dealt with appropriately by child protection agencies ,3 their rape by a male was not reported because of their fears of sexism in the legal system, and now their same-sex sexual violence or battering is not addressed by service providers either. Rape has the lowest report rate to police of all crimes,4 and it will take extraordinary work to reach out to female survivors of sexual violence perpetrated by women. In considering the context of agencies developing services, Juan Méndez reminds us of the obvious: ‘‘If one wants to serve a diverse population, then one’s staff, or the people who are going to provide direct service, must reflect the characteristics of the population one aims to serve.’’5 Agencies need to hire lesbians and bisexual women, lesbians and bisexual women of color, and perhaps bilingual staff as well. In addition, before any outreach can be done, we need to work on eliminating homophobia, biphobia, and heterosexism in the...