Becoming My Mother’s Daughter: A Story of Survival and Renewal

The Maze

THE MAZE “The convent. Has your mother ever told you about the convent?” Eva turns to her niece, Dina, continuing their conversation. They are sitting on Eva’s beige and brown living room sofa, with the other members of the family scattered around the living and dining rooms in various stages of civilized boredom. It is one of those family reunions where, after the elaborate pleasures of the dinner table, the participants realize they have very little left to share with one another. “These lunches are really getting hard to take,” murmurs Ron, Eva’s husband, to his eighteen-year-old son, Robbie, as to an accomplice. Although he does not say it out loud, his mischievous grimace indicates that he long ago made a mental note about Eva’s reminiscences: “And now, no doubt, we’re in for all those flashbacks—in slow motion, no doubt—to our wartime childhood and the persecution. Strange, a couple of months ago she was incapable of watching a documentary on the Holocaust or even mentioning it in conversation. And now? At any rate, it’s time to change the reel.” But instead of interrupting his wife, he turns to his brother-in-law as if oblivious to the other conversations around him. “Ernie, how about this joke I just picked up at the office. Did you hear the one about the two travelling salesmen …?” Ron works in the public relations department of a downtown corporation , a position that Ernie, a mechanical engineer, finds glamorous and exciting for its very lack of clear definition. He receives Ron’s efforts at entertainment with an ingratiating smile and a chuckle of anticipation. Ernie’s wife, Sandy, turns her attention to the men: “Quiet, everyone. Ron’s telling a joke.” As if giving in reluctantly to popular demand, Ron now says he’ll try to tell it, though in this mixed audience he can’t guarantee the effect it will have. Ernie receives the off-colour joke in his usual manner, with knee-slapping and appreciative guffaws. Sandy laughs once, but her laugh ends on a question mark. With her characteristic sincerity she admits right away: “It sounds funny, but I didn’t really get the last line. Could somebody explain it to me?” With a somewhat regal gesture, Ron turns to Ernie, delegating to him the task of enlightening his wife. But Dina hasn’t yet forgotten what was discussed before. “Aunt Eva, you started to tell us about the convent. What was it like?” “What a hypocrite,” sighs Robbie, Eva and Ron’s eighteen-year-old son. “How she pretends to care when obviously she can barely wait to get away from here.” The gathering’s attention, with most of the available passion spent, seems to return to Eva. “You started to tell us about the convent,” Dina says. Ron jumps up from the sofa. “Time for another coffee,” he announces, then turns to his daughter: ”Come, Judy, give your good old daddy a hand. We’ll make another pot.” “No, no. Sit down, I’ll make it.” With a slight tremor of her lips, Eva stands up too. “I’ll tell you about it later, Dina. Unless you want to join me in the kitchen while I’m making coffee.” As always, the family gathering follows roughly the same rituals. This is the time for Sandy to declare peremptorily that no member of her family would ever consider a second cup of coffee, assuming they had already succumbed to the tempation of a first one. Coffee is poison for the heart, for the stomach, for the liver. It is clear that Ernie would love a cup, but after a moment of visible inner struggle, he makes a dismissive gesture as if to say, “It isn’t worth the hassle.” By the time Eva returns with the fresh pot, everyone is making to leave. THE MAZE 13 “But I’ll take a cup, since you’ve already made it, dear,” says Ron. “You know I’ve never refused a cup of coffee in my life.” And in a soft aside for her benefit, he whispers: “And as for intellectual stimulation, this cup of coffee is probably the best thing that happened here all afternoon.” “A ridiculous waste of time,” Robbie splutters whenever family gatherings end. Yet the family sometimes needs this common ground, to express approval or disapproval, to test their levels...