What Works for Women at Work: Four Patterns Working Women Need to Know

1. Introduction: It’s Not (Always) Your Fault

1 1 Introduction: It’s Not (Always) Your Fault The test for whether or not you can hold a job should not be the arrangement of your chromosomes. — bella abzug Jennifer is a consultant at a large management consulting firm. Since graduating from business school, Jennifer has worked hard, played by the rules, and thrived professionally. things are going great for her: a few years ago, she was promoted to the prestigious position of director. having achieved a measure of job security, she and her husband—a lawyer at a big law firm in town—decided to have a baby and got pregnant. She took off the full six months allowed at her company; her baby is now 11 months old. Recently, though, Jennifer found out that her compensation is lower than her co-worker Mike’s, even though he started after her and brings in less business to the firm. Jennifer, who has never really seen herself as different from the men she works with, realizes that she might have made a mistake in not asking for an increase in compensation earlier. She goes to her boss, Rick, to discuss the matter. to her surprise, instead of being supportive, he tells her he’s heard some concerns from other people in her department but reassures her he has her best interests at heart: “you’re a valuable part of the team. i know there were questions among the committee about whether your performance is sustainable, but 2 • Introduction: It’s Not (Always) Your Fault i’ll be sure to bring up your contributions when we’re deciding on compensation for next year.” Surprised by Rick’s easy dismissal of her concerns, Jennifer goes to her mentor, Jane, for help. Jane, who does not have children, tells Jennifer there’s not much she can do about it. “once you have children,” Jane says, “it gets harder and harder to balance everything . you just need to work extra hard to prove you’re willing to do what it takes to stay in the game.” Jennifer leaves Jane’s office feeling more unsure of herself than ever. She’s starting to think there’s more going on than meets the eye—but what can she do about it that won’t make things worse? As recently as a decade or so ago, gender discrimination was so obvious it was all but impossible to ignore. in 1982, Ann hopkins was denied a promotion to partner at the accounting firm Price Waterhouse because, as male co-workers said, she needed to “walk more femininely, talk more femininely, dress more femininely, wear make-up, have her hair styled, and wear jewelry.”1 in 1997, goldman Sachs financial analyst Cristina Chen-oster was sexually assaulted by a co-worker after a business meeting that took place at a Manhattan strip club called Scores.2 Sex discrimination cases this egregious are dwindling. Some holdouts certainly exist, but the age of the boom boom Room—of referring to female employees as “whores” and “playboy bunnies” and of holding meetings in men’s clubs—is largely past.3 “twenty years ago, it used to be visible to any woman,” said a longtime consultant. “We were forced to wear a skirt. it was so overt. We were expected to get the coffee.” Another woman, who started working in finance in the 1980s, remembered being made to go in the back door and up the back elevator to attend a meeting in a club that didn’t admit women. As recently as 10 years ago, she said, she would regularly be the only woman at corporate golf tournaments . When she won, the prize was a men’s shirt. these days, litigation and changing cultural standards have eliminated many of the more blatant examples of sexism in the professional world. unfortunately, that doesn’t mean it’s disappeared. Introduction: It’s Not (Always) Your Fault • 3 For this book, we interviewed over 125 women about their experiences with gender bias: women at the top of their fields in law, in business, in politics, in science; married and unmarried women; mothers and women without children; women in their 30s and women in their 70s. “For the younger women who look at me and think, ‘Why are you dredging up history?’” said one executive about her efforts to talk to young women about gender bias, “my response is, ‘you know what? i...