What Works for Women at Work: Four Patterns Working Women Need to Know

13. Leave or Stay? Don’t Dismay

275 13 Leave or Stay? Don’t Dismay I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass. — maYa angelou leaving isn’t always the right option. bouncing from job to job can have serious consequences: it may make you look fickle to potential future employers, keep you from developing long-term working relationships, or stunt your development of the in-depth skills and knowledge expected of senior employees. there are certain points when you may be particularly vulnerable—right before or after having a baby or in response to a particularly time-consuming project , for instance—and it’s important to maintain some perspective on whether the situation will improve with time. one new girl remembered a talented lawyer who had worked at her law firm. When she had her second child, the head of the practice group approached the litigator and suggested she take on a narrower role with less responsibility, which would have more defined hours. the new girl counseled her against it. “you’re going to make your own decision, but let’s talk about what might go into that decision ,” she said. “So you just had your second baby. you’re feeling overwhelmed. but let’s talk about what your work would be like.” the new girl suggested that instead of taking on this new role, the lawyer approach the firm with a five-year plan for how she intended to remain on track despite a reduced schedule. She didn’t 276 • Leave or Stay? Don’t Dismay take the new girl’s advice and ended up taking the dead-end position her supervisor had offered. “they hit them up when they’re vulnerable,” the new girl told us in frustration. “She loved her work, so it wasn’t that she didn’t want to go back. Maybe if she had been asked that question a year or two later when things were less overwhelming, the answer would have been different.” Making the decision to wait out a rough patch, one new girl said, means you also have to make a decision to get something out of it. “if you choose to stay for a period of time, because you’re getting some valuable experience or you don’t want to look like you’ve got a rotating door on your resume, then stay. but just say, ‘hey, i’m staying. yes, there’s a lot of stuff i don’t like, but i’m getting XyZ out of it, and i’m going to revisit it in three months, six months, and when the timing’s right, i’ll probably leave,’” she said. hoW do i get good assignments? • Be the first to volunteer. • If you want to do a certain kind of work, ask for it. • Project confidence but show humility. • Be willing to stretch—volunteer even if you have never done it before. • No project is “beneath” you, but you also need stretch assignments that allow you to grow. • Expect to excel and do the very best work you can do. • Show commitment to the positive outcome of all projects. • If you are not getting work, consider the possibility that your performance on prior projects wasn’t up to standards—go looking for feedback. • Develop a strategy for turning your reputation around—get help. —New Girl Verna ˉ Myers, nationally recognized diversity consultant Leave or Stay? Don’t Dismay • 277 Several new girls who had become champions for women at their organizations said it was actually the obstacles they faced that kept them going. “i got to a point where i had decided what i was going to tolerate and what i wasn’t,” said an executive. “then i had to decide, did i want to stay and be somebody who worked on change in the culture, or was i going to leave?” this new girl decided to stay and got some really incredible things done under her tenure. “you can take it on directly, you can leave, you can do nothing, but you’re making a choice,” she said. “So don’t rehash old tapes when there’s nothing new to learn, because it just drains your energy and it’s not worth it. My biggest advice overall would be don’t let yourself become a victim. Vote with your feet...