Clothing

1. Vulnerability and the Human Condition

19 1 vulnerability and the human condition “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more important than clothing?” Matthew 6:25 Human beings have a limited tolerance for feeling vulnerable . Sure, when babies are born, we honor their fragile nature and embrace it as part of the miracle of life. We swathe them with our warmest blankets and softest clothes and bathe their delicate bodies with soothing cleansers and lotions. We cherish the helplessness of infants, accepting their limits without question, at times being contented by their dependence on us. In most cases, we are comfortable with their messiness and unpredictability, changing their diapers at inconvenient times and feeding them at all hours of the day. We expect them neither to have control over their embodied selves nor to be perfect. However, as the years pass, our expectations and comfort level regarding their vulnerability slowly change. Children ’s parents, along with their physicians, teachers, and 20 • clothing caregivers, track and foster the children’s growth out of this original state of dependence. We anticipate development from this fragile and vulnerable condition toward reaching the appropriate physical and social milestones. We have patience throughout the process. As babies begin to walk, we don’t ridicule them when they fall. Instead, we keep encouraging them toward their goal. When children begin to dress themselves, we forgive and even embrace their mismatched socks and bunched-up pants because we know they are learning and this state of disarray is temporary. Without fail, as children grow up, our acceptance of their limits wanes, and we find that the world is far less forgiving of their frailties. Messy bodies are understood to be in need of fixing, so much so that as soon as children step onto the playground, they are strongly encouraged, if not bullied, into acting and—more important for this conversation —into looking a certain way. A clumsy gait is no longer cute, but rather a possible first sign of a developmental delay. Runny noses could symbolize poor hygiene, and last year’s fashions often signify a lower social and economic status. Neediness is read as a sign of weakness. Children are faced head-on with implicit social rules about their body and embodied practices to which they must conform. Nonconformity risks at the very least scorn, and at the very worst being treated as less than human. All of us experience an unsaid but deeply felt correlation between the norms of dress and the norms of humanity. Perhaps the pressure on children today is not this bleak, and I am being too sensitive to growing pains. Yet few make it through childhood without experiencing some of these stressors, creating anxiety that transcends their childhood and follows them into adulthood. Clearly, vulnerability and the human condition • 21 beyond playground politics, the college students I encounter report that when they go on their first job interviews, they must prepare to meet certain expectations about dress and clothing taboos as well. For instance, they tell me that while most of their peers have tattoos and piercings , having too many is unfavorable in professional contexts . So if they really want the work, they need to cover up the tattoos with long sleeves and remove the nose rings. What I am hoping to illustrate here is that at every stage of our life, what we wear and why we wear it largely result from a negotiation of anxiety about what is expected, what is the norm, and what is considered human. Nonconformance to social expectations is at times read as a sign of weakness, of not being properly socialized, and even a scar on our humanity. The bottom line is that showing weakness and vulnerability either on the playground or in the boardroom is unappealing to others and often a liability. Yet even though we learn from early childhood on that our clothing has the potential to hide our human frailties and neediness, and we struggle to adhere to what is considered “normal” rather than “deviant,” many of us barely pass the test, and our humanity is challenged. The impossible ideal of perfection, which seems to be the new look for humanity , is always just beyond our reach. The pressure to be perfect and have...