In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content:

7 The ABC Tool Kit Using the Nine Principles to Deal with Discipline Problems A fter criticizing an assortment of writings on the subject of discipline for failing to offer a tool kit to help caregivers implement the ideas expressed, the time has come to present my own tool kit. In this chapter, I describe a set of specific techniques for applying the ABC Model of Discipline . In building the ABC framework around domains of discipline— Warmth, Tolerance, and Influence—I have identified a coherent set of nine principles (three each for the Affective, Behavioral, and Cognitive approaches) that support short-term solutions to behavioral challenges and long-term social competence outcomes of Happiness, Boldness, and Niceness. Based on these nine principles, I offer eighteen concrete techniques that can be applied in a mix and match fashion to create a rich and flexible discipline environment that is not restricted to any one particular school of psychological thought. The Situation-Specific Nature of Discipline The principles of the ABC model work only if the caregiver who applies them has both (1) a reasonably good understanding of the principles and how to use them and (2) an ability to read child behaviors reasonably well and to know when to apply which principle. This does not require an advanced diploma, or even a course in discipline, but it does require some degree of common sense and at least an average amount of sensitivity toward people and social situations . One of the problems I have with tough-guy authors on child-rearing, such as John Rosemond (whose approach I profile briefly in Chapter 1), is that they give caregivers very general advice, such as “Show the child who is boss,” that ignores the real situations that individual caregivers face. To suggest that a single stance—toughness—is appropriate for every situation implies that The ABC Tool Kit 117 every child behavior is the same and that every caregiver needs to be tougher. A caregiver who approaches every situation as an opportunity to be coercive is, of course, unlikely to be effective, either in the short term (getting a child to do what she wants) or in the long term (helping the child become socially competent). Authors writing within all three of the major discipline approaches encourage caregivers to think about what type of situation they are facing before deciding how to respond. Affectively oriented authors encourage caregivers to determine whether they have a problem and/or the child has a problem and to respond with an acknowledgment of the child’s problem, even when asserting a limit to relieve their own problem. Behaviorally oriented authors encourage caregivers to determine whether a child’s behavior is praiseable, ignorable, or punishable and then to respond appropriately. Cognitively oriented authors encourage caregivers to determine whether a child’s behavior is indicative of a brewing power struggle and to avoid the fight by selecting consequences that flow logically from the behavior rather than assertively from the caregiver’s size or status. Various formulas and teaching devices have been developed to help caregivers become better at making these kinds of discriminations and more proficient in applying the various discipline principles. Thomas Gordon’s decision window is such a device, as are the discrimination training and bug-in-the-ear methods behaviorists employ. A major purpose of all of these methods is to break the caregiver’s tendency to rely on habitual responses and to help her become more sensitive to the meaning underlying the child’s behavior and, thus, better able to respond appropriately. Turning Theory into Practice: Applying ABC Principles to Challenging Situations In pages that follow, I explore specific application of the nine ABC principles in pursuit of the short-term objective of dealing with challenging behaviors. An advantage of working with the entire ABC model over adhering strictly to any one of its three constituent approaches is that the caregiver has more principles to draw upon. Figure 7.1 lists two techniques for each of the nine principles that make up the ABC model—in essence, this is the model’s tool kit. In the figure, and throughout this chapter, the techniques are presented in the form of succinct and concrete operational statements directed to the caregiver . The foregoing chapters have focused on development and application of the ABC model in an approach-centric fashion. Figure 7.1 represents a reshuffling of the principles out of their approach groupings (Affective, Behavioral, Cognitive) and into new groupings...

Share