In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content:

1 Contradictions and Complications David: I was a bad father though; we’ve got to include that. At that time, I mean. I thought I was bad because— Mary: He didn’t do— He was not a participant father. We hear a great deal about fathers. Dead-beat dads, absent fathers , distant fathers, participant fathers, new fathers, and changing fathers feature in academic and popular discussions. The impact of fathers on children, their influence for good or bad, their central importance , or their insignificance are investigated, assumed, argued over, and mobilized in highly politicized debates. But very few of the participants in these debates have examined what men themselves say about being fathers, about what fatherhood means to them, about what they do and do not do, and about how they explain the place of fatherhood in their lives. What is so often said of mothers is that they were “there” for their children. What is said almost as often of fathers is that they were “not there” physically, financially, or emotionally. The questions that arise are, Where were they? What were they doing? What did they think they were doing? This book is about the meanings of fatherhood in the lives of a group of American men. Most readers will think they are familiar with the lives of American men. Many of them will themselves be American men or will be their children, wives, mothers, or girlfriends. All readers will have images of them from personal acquaintance or from books, films, and television programs. Given this personal familiarity with the subject , much of the behavior and many of the opinions expressed by the men in this book may seem obvious, natural, and inevitable—hardly worth noticing. When we think we know what we are seeing, however, we often stop looking carefully and stop noticing what is extraordinary. My account examines aspects of the familiar and the taken-for-granted from the perspective of a comparative social anthropologist. 1 The Package Deal is neither a manual for change nor a polemic. What I hope it contributes to the contemporary debate about fatherhood is a careful, sympathetic description and analysis of the cultural image of fatherhood that is held by many fathers in the United States. This image has internal contradictions and frequently ignores social realities, but it reflects deeply held values, informs a great deal of social policy, and guides the lives of many men. Documenting this cultural image is both an end in itself and a necessary precursor to effective action. As I listened to the men with whom I talked and studied my notes and transcripts, I came to realize that they saw their lives, and measured their success, in terms of a package deal in which having children, being married, holding a steady job, and owning a home were four interconnected elements. No single element could be evaluated alone, and success in any one element alone did not guarantee success overall. The four elements of the package deal are in many respects mutually reinforcing , but they are also in tension with one another, so that the package deal incorporates internal contradictions. Being a father is one of the four elements of the package deal. My analysis of the meaning of fatherhood reveals that fatherhood itself is composite. I describe fatherhood , as an element of the package deal, in terms of four facets: emotional closeness, provision, protection, and endowment. Throughout this book, I discuss the complex interconnections of the four elements of the package deal and the contributions that these elements make to each of the four facets of fatherhood. Research on men as gendered, anthropological research on masculinity , and this book in particular owe a great deal to feminist analyses and formulations of the meaning of gender and of the applicability of gender as a category of analysis. Feminist theory and analysis have opened the possibility of a gendered approach to the study of men and fatherhood. Such an approach sees gender not as an attribute of individuals , but as an organizing principle of social and cultural institutions . Research interest in fatherhood is relatively recent. Motherhood has been a subject of serious social science attention for a longer time, and research on motherhood has opened the way for studies of fatherhood as a set of gendered meanings and activities. The bibliographic essay in Appendix 2 puts my work in the context of some of the important literature in these areas. The Package Deal contributes to the popular...

Share