Honey, Honey, Miss Thang

Shontae

''I'm standing there stuck with twenty dollars and a promise that you'll be back. " Shontae T was an active, creative child who knew what I wanted and grew up ..L to be a drag queen and I worked at it. I have always desired men, so I went for them. Other than that, I learned the rest along the way. Every now and then there are regrets. Yeah, there's a few, but my regrets don't come until after my early years. My early years, those are the ones I wish I could go back to. You know, those were the safe years. Especially ifI could go back to before my sister Melody died, you know. Those were the real secure days, totally. I know my parents loved me even during the hard times. Most definitely. Mommy always wanted us to learn to try to accept things as they are and not try to change them, be at peace with yourself. You know, that's what Mommy used to say all the time. Start with you, you know ... start with yourself and ... I think my parents wanted me to be happy when I grew up. As for a profession, they wanted whatever I wanted. Mommy would even get in arguments with other people. Like, "You don't live ... you just raise your children and do the best you can. You let them live their lives. All you can try to do is to be happy. Because the rest ofthis world is gonna try to sock it to you." That's what Mommy used to always try to tell us, "Just try to be happy, as long as it's not hurting nobody." But for my mother it was always about love. Mommy was one of the best women 1 a Honey. Honey. Jlo4:1ss Tha.ng in the world. I wish I had a chance to be a little better. I wish I hadn't said and did some ofthe things I put her through. I would like being like my father too. He never minded nobody else's business. I would stay to myselflike he does. I wouldn't involve myself in nothing that didn't concern me. And he always tried to say the best thing he possibly could about anybody. Ifhe ain't have nothing nice to say about you at all, he ain't gonna talk about you. I'm just like that because I ain't gonna sit around and talk about nobody that I can't stand. My parents got along beautifully. They were supportive of each other and very affectionate. They were never afraid to show their love for each other. The more people around, the more they showed off. Mommy was always pulling at Daddy. She would always be grabbing him and then they would start. Or there might be something on television or something or we might be playing records or something and they would start maybe like showing us an old dance or something. And you know as soon as one of them would try something everybody would fallout laughing. They had a happy marriage. Mommy was more quick-tempered than Daddy, but she was the power behind the throne. He was the power, don't get me wrong now. He called the shots. But she ran everything. I never knew my real parents. But my adoptive parents used to tell me the story. How I found out about it was when I went to school and a teacher called me by a different name and I couldn't understand that. We were in kindergarten and I really panicked. When I came home, I explained it all to my mother. She tried to explain it to me by showing me this birth certificate that I was this person. I didn't understand what adoption meant. Now I understand what adoption is, but then I didn't know. But my adoption was never legal. Mommy knew my mother and from what I hear I would be better off with Mommy. I'm saying it wasn't like I was given away to strangers. See, Mommy had been known for having foster children. Matter of fact they were known for taking care ofadopted children. Plus Mommy ran a day care center, that's how she made her money. There was always a bunch ofcousins. We always called each other cousins and brothers and sisters and stuff. [18.222.111...