-
18. The Accidental Advocate: Life Coaching as a Feminist Vocation
- State University of New York Press
- Chapter
- Additional Information
Chapter 18 The Accidental Advocate Life Coaching as a Feminist Vocation Anitra L. Nevels The past several decades have seen increases in the number of women who are entrepreneurs.1 What made me decide to become an entrepreneur? That question stumps me every time, because the answer varies according to the circumstances and the audience. To be honest, I don’t really call myself an “entrepreneur.” I refer to myself as an “accidental advocate.” Why? Because a series of seemingly accidental events occurred that set me on a path I had not planned but was destined to travel. Some call it “destiny,” others prefer to call it “fate,” while a few describe it as “divine order.” Let’s review how I got to this point. But first, allow me to confess: starting a business is like giving birth! You put your blood, sweat, tears, energy, money and hope in it, just like you do for your children, with the expectation that you will be proud of the results. You hope that your business, just like your kids, will grow and eventually take care of you in your old age. Inevitably, as with children, there are bound to be disappointments, setbacks, compromises, and negotiations. One experiences acceptance, rejection, and, hopefully, an outcome worthy of pride. In my past 35 years of working, I have held many positions that placed me in environments where women were the majority. Working with women became one of my specialties and led me to start a life-coaching consultancy. Research on women entrepreneurs suggests that many women enter industries that are extensions of their roles as women, wives, and mothers, as well as industries that cater to other women and their personal needs because these industries are often familiar (due to previous employment or volunteer work experiences) and require less start-up capital.2 As a life coach or “dream developer” (a term I prefer that I coined for myself), I explain to clients that we are often aware of the changes we need to 283 284 Anitra L. Nevels make in life but have trouble getting started and remaining committed to the process. A life coach is a private mentor to help you tackle unforeseen obstacles, identify solutions, and clearly focus on a sound, attainable path to your goals. A coach also helps you keep on track, making sure steps aren’t overlooked, put on a back burner, or delayed by a problem you aren’t sure how to handle. You can also think of a life coach as a personal fitness trainer for your career, your business, and/or your personal development. Your coach will push and encourage you beyond what you might do on your own. Life coaching provides focus, ongoing support, and accountability and is a powerful way to help you develop a working model or master plan for success. Many of my clients yearn for deeper meaning in life and soul-enriching experiences in a society that often robs them of both. I work primarily with women who are rediscovering their truth, their voices, and their lives. Women struggle with enormous demands that range from childrearing to working long hours in and outside the home and even working through the metamorphosis of menopause. My clients often manage to provide support for everyone around them at the expense of themselves. However, by the time they contact me, they are finally ready to step into their own full power. In addition to being their dream developer and advocate, I see myself as my clients’ poster child: they are me, and I am them! I have been through what they are going through. My logo includes a group of imperfect butterflies flying over the crescent moon. The message: we are all beautiful butterflies, despite our struggles. When we start out, I have clients complete a survey and interview them, probing into their deepest heart’s desires. I ask them to clarify their goals and encourage them to explore their obvious and hidden gifts. I remind them that I am by their side. Together we form two sets of eyes, keeping an eagle’s gaze on their personal roadmap. Many life experiences got me to this point, but I owe a lot to my family and early work experiences. Big Sister, Business Ethics, and the Blues My earliest foray into becoming a life coach probably began with my first starring role as a “big sister.” Being the firstborn gave me “on-the-job training” for...