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15. Walking Is an Exercise in Friendship
- State University of New York Press
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Walking Is an Exercise in Friendship 쮿 151 15 Walking Is an Exercise in Friendship Marlene Jensen Walking alone is exercise. Walking with friends, especially women friends, can be an enriching and a transforming experience. I didn’t always know this. My daily walks were quiet—just me and our beagle Daisy. Occasionally our friend Mary Monopoli and her golden retriever Bruno joined us. Those days seemed warmer and brighter because of their companionship and conversation. When Mary and Bruno moved away, Daisy and I continued to walk, but it was just a walk. And it was lonely. I noticed that every morning at about the same time, a group of three women walked past my house. I heard them long before I saw them. Their tone was lilting, their conversation spirited, and their laughter uproarious. Frequently Daisy and I would pass them and say hello. Soon we started taking a different route through our Vestal, New York, neighborhood, hoping to run into the three women. Many days we did. We’d stop. We might talk a bit. Then one day I asked, “Do you mind if we walk with you?” They said, “Sure,” and that is how Daisy and I finagled our way into what I came to call the Holly Hill Hiking Club. That is how I learned how rewarding it could be to walk with other women. The group’s founder and historian is Diane MacLean, a former math teacher. She has been walking for more than twenty years, most of them with Poeny Liem, who lives a few houses away. The third member of the original trio is Melanie Sienkiewicz, who joined Diane and Poeny after she saw them walking on her street on the next hill over. “I would look out and think, ‘Gee, I should be doing that,’ ” Melanie said. So she did. 151 152 쮿 My Life at the Gym It was the beginning of a beautiful and an enduring friendship. Walkers have come and gone, but Diane, Poeny, and Melanie are the heart of the group. A painting Diane made captures the spirit of their relationship. It shows three figures walking down a nearby road, which is lined with trees and illuminated by sunbeams breaking through the dense canopy of leaves. Then the rest of us crashed the party. After Daisy and I joined the group, we became like pied pipers , attracting other women from the neighborhood. On days when everyone’s schedule was in perfect alignment, we were a party of seven. And I mean party with a capital P. Our walks were a combination of a family and neighborhood news network, group therapy, brainstorming, a workout, and, mostly, a special daily connection that celebrated the details of our lives. We were a walking example of contemporary women’s history. We were a diverse group ranging from age forty to over sixty, with children from ages eight to thirty-eight. Our roots are Indonesian, Ukrainian, Slovak, Chinese, Slovenian, Jewish, and Polish. We talked about everything—trivial, important, serious, and ridiculous. “What’s great about our walks is that you can share the smallest things that you wouldn’t pick up the phone to talk about,” said Laura Kashinsky, who lived across the street from me. No topic was taboo. We tackled the grit on the winter streets, the dirt on Britney Spears, Sex and the City, aging, real estate, religion , politics, Hindu wedding customs, Chinese ghosts, and Slavic sayings. Favorite subjects included the pet monkey Poeny had as a girl in Indonesia, children, books, husbands, and food—always, and in great detail, food. If there were such a thing as team Jeopardy, we would kick butt. The pieces of our lives soon began to form a comfortable patchwork. We cheered when Diane’s son Johnny married. She thought he would forever play the field. We learned about schools and shopping in Singapore from Karen Gustafson, a native of that country, whose large family still lives there. We followed Melanie’s son Michael’s move across country to go to law school and the adventures of Poeny’s son Al as he purchased his first home. Sylvia Marchuska shared stories from her daughter Christine’s trip to Spain. While Laura’s daughter Lisa was looking forward to high school, our older son Christian was choosing a college. [54.196.27.171] Project MUSE (2024-03-28 14:34 GMT) Walking Is an Exercise in Friendship 쮿 153 Only illness, unavoidable appointments, torrential downpours, or icy...