Why the Amish Sing: Songs of Solidarity and Identity

• 11. Songs of Love and Life: Weddings and Funerals
• Chapter
• Johns Hopkins University Press
• pp. 121-130
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CHAPTER 11

Songs of Love and Life
Weddings and Funerals

An Amish mother and daughter sit outside on the bright August morning, deboning stewed chicken. They are preparing for the daughter Laura’s wedding day, about a month off. As they prepare the chicken for the dressing, Laura and her mother tell me that they have to get a head start in order to be ready to feed more than five hundred guests. A few hundred yards away from where we sit, the men are scraping and painting the barn. Fortunately, they have a rented cherry-picker crane, which is easier to use than scaffolding. “I don’t know how we’ll get everything done,” Laura wonders as she watches them.

Laura is marrying a man who lives less than two miles away, and she will continue to have the support and company of her own family during her married life. Her husband-to-be has started his own business and feels prepared for family responsibility. The Amish believe that marriage is God’s plan for humans, that the family is the sanctioned unit, and that the husband should be the head and the wife, his helper.

Amish weddings are celebrations of the highest order. They serve as both family reunions and brief vacations. Youth travel all over the country to act as servers for friends’ and relatives’ wedding meals, turning weddings themselves into events at which single young men and women can meet potential marriage partners. One Ohio Amish woman in her twenties met a man at a Kentucky wedding, she tells me, and a year later he asked her to marry him. With so many familial and relational connections between districts and settlements, many Amish people have numerous invitations each year. “We went to eight weddings this fall,” one Amish grandmother discloses.

Amish weddings are clearly worship services, and funerals are, too. As such, both ceremonies follow many of the musical conventions of the Amish bi-weekly services. As we have seen throughout this exploration of Amish music, singing accompanies many of the activities of daily life among the Amish, and ceremonies of matrimony and remembrance occasion a variety of possibilities. We will examine an Amish wedding first, and then a funeral, to discover how these solemn ceremonies utilize singing—or, in the case of some funerals, preclude singing—to mark them as hallowed, sacred events.

Wedding Music

At the end of September, Laura’s wedding day dawns beautifully cool. The family has invited over five hundred people, and all of them come. After more than a month of preparation, two head cooks organize the meal, assigning a job to each helper. Next to the barn, the cooks use a rented refrigerator trailer, stocked with a full kitchen of four stoves, a warmer, a freezer, a refrigerator, and flatware for 350. “The Old Order use real plates. We [New Order] use paper. It’s much easier,” explains Mary. For this particular wedding, the young married people work together, husbands carrying the heavy pans. Involving husbands in preparing the meal is relatively new, someone tells me, adding that the young couples find they enjoy serving together.

The hostlers (horse minders) tie the buggy horses to two wagons stationed in a field near the large shed where the family will celebrate the wedding service. Quite a few non-Amish friends come, so they have set aside a car park near the broiler chicken house.

The bride has decorated the worship space with flowers and candles. “Weddings are becoming much more elaborate than they once were,” Grandpa Atlee reminisces, thinking back to his own wedding more than fifty years ago. The bride wears a new dusty blue dress with a white cape and a white head covering, and her attendants wear matching Amish dresses. As an honor, the couple chooses an immediate family member—a father, brother, or grandfather—as Vorsinger for the worship service.

Amish wedding days are generally bookended by music. On the morning of Laura’s wedding, a dozen or so men and women gather to sing by 8:30. They sing Ausbund and Liedersammlung songs appropriate to weddings. Weddings are a community time, and close relatives enjoy being together and singing praise to God. Their presence does not serve to entertain the gatherers but sets the tone in order that those who arrive feel invited to participate in the solemnity and joy surrounding a wedding service. The community has a large stake in building strong families committed to God’s will. “The wedding isn’t the important thing,” says bishop Jacob Beachy. “It’s the marriage that is important.” The point of the wedding is to prepare the couple to take seriously their responsibility to God, one another, and their future children.

People drift in until about ten o’clock, at which time the service begins. Generally, a wedding service lasts almost three hours and includes multiple sermons and the singing of several Ausbund songs, just like other worship events. The wedding has about the same tenor as worship: a blend of joy and solemnity.

During the wedding ceremony itself, the congregation typically sings a total of four songs. The service begins with the singing of verses 4 and, sometimes, 5 of the hymn “He’s Taking a Wife” (Ausbund 69).

     (verse 4) He has taken a wife,

     The Christian Church in the Spirit,

     Love has compelled Him,

     Which He also has shown to us.

     His life He has set before us,

     Those who also likewise love Him

     Are also chosen unto Him.

As in other worship services, the second song on the roster is the Loblied. Along with the local ministers, all the ministers related to the family of the bride and groom who have come from near and far for the wedding find a private space to instruct the bride and groom during the first two songs. The local leaders have met with the couple prior to the wedding, so they allow the visiting ministers to take the lead. The couple hears multiple perspectives about the meaning and responsibilities of marriage.

When the couple and the ministers return from the Abrot, the congregants sing the fourth verse of the Ausbund hymn 378 (see appendix I, Musical Example A1.10). This slow song, written around 1540 by Siegmund von Bosch, prefigures the wedding of Jesus Christ with the faithful church as predicted in the Bible.¹

The local bishop preaches the first sermon, on the theme of the need for the new husband to be a Christian leader. Otherwise, how can his wife follow him? This sermon instructs the whole congregation, reconfirming the values and norms of the group. The congregation kneels, and another minister offers a prayer. A third minister reads the scriptures for weddings, Ephesians 5:21–33 and 1 Corinthians 7:1–9, and another sermon follows. As in other services, each preacher seeks a witness. A visiting preacher expresses what the particular passage of Scripture means to him.

The ministers stand alongside the couple and read the marriage vows. Among the questions they ask is: “Do you also have the confidence, brother (sister), that the Lord has ordained this our fellow sister (brother) to be your wedded wife (husband)? The couple answers, “Yes.”²

The gathering sings “Ermuntert euch, ihr frommen” to the tune of “Bind Us Together.” Then they sing “Ich will lieben” to the tune of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” (a camp meeting song borrowed earlier for “John Brown’s Body”) or “The Marine Hymn” (a tune from an opera by Jacques Offenbach). It seems that despite their pacifist background, the Amish have decided that these tunes transcend their wartime history. A blessing prayer ensues. The final hymn, “Gelobt sei Gott,” (Ausbund 712), “Praise be God in the highest throne, / Who clothed us with a beautiful coat, / So we are born anew. / This is the true wedding garment,” completes the service (see appendix I, Musical Example A1.11).

Following the service, a reception meal takes place at the bride’s home. The large crowd of guests, which can number up to eight hundred people, can rarely be accommodated at one sitting. Families attempt to restrict the number invited, but they may not be successful. Large coolers powered by gas generators keep massive quantities of food cold and fresh. For the Old Order Amish who refuse to use generators, many weddings occur in winter. In the past, the family also served an evening supper, and the youth stayed around for a midnight meal. With the increased numbers at weddings, a family can only manage serving one meal.

After lunch, the older folks start singing. They open with the last hymn of the service, “A Wedding Hymn,” followed by the third song of the service, “Er hat ein Weis genommen.” The song leaders of the district take turns choosing the other songs. In the meantime, young married couples reset the tables and serve lunch to the young folks. For an hour or so, the group sings Ausbund songs that give advice about building a Christian marriage through prayer, reading the Bible, and, not surprisingly, singing together. The group may harmonize on songs from the Liedersammlung and other favorite gospel hymnals. In good weather, the young people may follow up the singing with a volleyball game.

Between the pre-service singing, the singing in the service itself, and the post-lunch singing, the wedding day has been filled as much with music as with almost any other element. Prayer for and admonition to the bride and groom have been offered, of course, as well as lots of conversation and food. Music has threaded throughout the day’s events, adding colorful reminders of the couple’s history, community, and commitments.

Much like weddings, funerals function as a worship service that draws friends and family from miles, even states away. Singing often wends its way through the day of an Amish funeral, although to a lesser degree than at a wedding. For funerals, music provides relief and support for the mourners. Songs chosen for funerals give solace to the survivors but also allow all the other attendees to review their lives and to assess how close they are to God.

Music for Funerals

     Come, children, let us go, the evening draws near;

     It is dangerous to stand in this wilderness.

     Come, strengthen your courage to wander on to eternity,

     From one power to the other the end is good.

     We shall not regret the narrow pilgrim path,

     For we know the faithful One who has called us.

     Come, follow and trust God, each one turn around completely,

     And face directly and firmly toward Jerusalem.³

The line of black buggies presents a somber scene as the family rides to the cemetery for the burial of their forty-five-year-old mother who fell victim to cancer. The body is laid to rest in a simple casket after group prayers. All sing the songs her children have chosen for the service, songs that will comfort and assure them of seeing their beloved mother again (see appendix I, Musical Example A1.12).

On the morning of the funeral, the immediate family assembles by eight o’clock. The ministers lead a short, private service. After this, the family moves to the main gathering in a workshop, barn, or house where friends await. By about nine o’clock, the first minister begins preaching for a half hour. The second minister adds another fifteen to twenty minutes of comfort and exhortation, to assure that those present are themselves ready to meet God. Then, the bishop takes over. He preaches for a full thirty to forty-five minutes. The main purposes of each of these messages include interpreting the rules of a godly life, urging members to follow the instructions, and eulogizing the deceased. Sometimes ministers remind congregants that no one can say for certain that the deceased has gone to heaven. “God alone will judge the life and belief of the deceased, but the faithful can have hope,” one bishop explains. Some New Order groups believe that the saved can have an assurance of salvation as long as they stay faithful. The bishop closes with a prayer and a benediction.

Depending on which Amish group is holding the funeral, there may or may not be singing during the funeral or graveside service. Pennsylvanian Frederick Klees wrote about an Amish funeral service he attended in 1961 during which the Amish sang no songs.⁴ Many Old Order and other stricter Amish groups only read a hymn at the graveside. While music offers solace, the Old Order Amish simply say, “This is not our way.” Perhaps, singing seems too frivolous for the somber occasion. Songs read at Old Order funerals in Pennsylvania include verses from Ausbund hymns 357, 358, 390, and 437 and texts from the Liedersammlung 173, “Ach! Was ist doch unter Leb’n?” “Alle Menschen müssen Sterben,” “Nun gute Nacht, ihr Liebsten mein,” “Freu dich sehr, O meine Seele,” “Mein Lebensfaden lauft zu Ende,” “On Jordan’s Stormy Banks I Stand,” or “Herzlich tut mich verlangen”⁵:

     Herzlich tut mich verlangen

     Nach einem sel’gen End,

     Weil ich bin hier umsangen

     Mit Trübsal und Elend;

     Ich hab Lust abzuscheiden

     Von dieser bösen Welt,

     Sehn mich nach ew’gen Freuden,

     Sonst nichts mir hier gesällt.

     Sincerely I desire

     After a blessed end

     Because I am surrounded

     With sorrow and distress;

     I desire to part

     From this evil world,

     Yearning after eternal joy,

     Moreover nothing here pleases me.⁶

In Holmes County, some Old and New Order Amish have chosen to sing at funerals because they recognize the comfort they receive from their favorite hymns. In New Order funeral services, the congregants sing “Gott ist die Liebe,” the Lobsang, and “Nun sich der Tag” (“When the Day Has Ended”)⁷:

     Nun sich der Tag geendet hat,

     Und keine Sonn mehr scheint,

     Ruht alles, was sich abgematt’t,

     Und was zuvor geweint.

     Nur du den Schlaf nicht nöthig hast,

     Mein Gott! Du schlummerst nicht;

     Die Finsterniss ist dir verhasst,

     Weil du bist selbst das Licht.

     When the day has ended,

     And the sun no longer shines.

     Everything that becomes faint

     And has wept will rest.

     Only God needs no sleep.

     My God, You never slumber.

     The darkness You have hated

     Because You are Light itself.

They might also sing “Wer weiss” (“Who Knows What My End Shall Be”):

     Wer weiss, wie nahe mir mein Ende?

     Die Zeit geht him, es kommt der Tod;

     Ach, wie geschwinde und behende

     Kann kommen meine Todesnoth.

     Mein Gott! Ich bitt durch Christi Blut,

     Mach’s nur mit meinem Ende gut.

     Who knows, how near is my end?

     The time passes and death comes;

     Oh, how swiftly and quickly

     Can come death’s distress,

     My God, I pray through Christ’s blood

     To make my end good.

If the deceased still has children at home, the congregation may sing “Kommt Kinder, lasst uns gehen” (“Come, Children, Let Us Go”). “Kommt Kinder” relates a caution from a parent to her or his children as to how difficult it is to remain true to God in this evil world. “Follow me towards eternity,” the deceased beckons.

At the graveside service of a New Order group, after everyone sings one song, the youth walk by the casket first, then they stand to one side and softly sing four or five songs, such as “Wo ist Jesus mein Verlangen” or “Es sind zween Weg.” The rest of the assembly files by the coffin to say goodbye. Just before the family goes to the coffin, a minister reads a psalm.

Burial practices also vary from one area to another. For example, in Middlefield, Ohio, the Amish have an open casket for the viewing of the body, which is rare in Holmes County. In Holmes County, everyone, children and all, follows the coffin to the grave. Reading of Scripture and singing may continue at the graveside. At one funeral, the bishop and group alternate; the bishop reads two lines and the group sings two lines of “Gute Nacht ihr meine Lieben.”⁸ Most Amish sing the same tune used for “Schaffet, Schaffet, meine Kinder” (see appendix I, Musical Example A1.7), but the Holmes County Amish use their own tune (Musical Example 11.1). “Our tune is more mournful,” a woman explains.⁹ After eight phrases of call and response, the bishop continues to read the hymn text.

Some groups sing songs in English at the graveside. Songs for the loss of a mother abound, including: “Meet Mother in the Skies,” “Mother’s Grave,” “Mother Left Me Her Bible,” and a song asking, “If my mother had not prayed for me—where would I be?” (see appendix I, Musical Example A1.13).

At the funeral for a child, the Amish often sing “Ich war ein kleines Kindlein.” One Amish man says that people in his area were unfamiliar with the tune, so he often sang it alone at funerals. Today, more have learned it. He sings the song with embellishments that are not notated in Troyer’s Ausbund and Liedersammlung Songs (1997). For example, he precedes many of the pairs of notes with the second of the two as an anticipation to the main note (Musical Example 11.2). For example, the music for the syllable “Ich” is written B to G, but he sings it G to B to G. Likewise, “war” is A to G but sung G to A to G.

An aunt reveals that her sixteen-year-old nephew died within two months of a cancer diagnosis. His family chose “How Beautiful Heaven Must Be” for graveside singing. Family members filed by the grave, placed a shovelful of dirt on the casket, a tradition taking hold in Holmes County, and sang:

     We read of a place that’s called heaven,

     It’s made for the pure and the free;

     These truths in God’s Word He hath given,

     How beautiful heaven must be.

     How beautiful heaven must be,

     Sweet home of the happy and free,

     Fair haven of rest for the weary,

     How beautiful heaven must be.¹⁰

Throughout the cycle of life, a typical Amish person is immersed in corporate worship. For ceremonies such as weddings and funerals, which mark the passage of time, the Amish choose songs that reflect the gravity and tenor of the occasion. We turn now to the songs that accompany Amish people through their more typical activities—the songs they sing as they work, celebrate holidays, travel, and perform the various tasks of daily life.