In lieu of an abstract, here is a brief excerpt of the content:

List of Illustrations ix Preface: Fantasies of Access xi In which Bart Simpson is thinking; Mona Lisa is smiling; the purpose of this book is revealed; its genre is canvassed; and a long-due gratitude is expressed. ONE Culture of Greedy Mind Readers 1 In which the author first tries to read the mind of a stranger at the library and then realizes that she doesn’t know how to talk about it; an Israeli immigration clerk makes a surprising gesture with her hand; emperor Caracalla feels threatened; a British soccer player hopes to be mobbed by his teammates; a tightrope walker faces competition from a Whee-lo toy; Mona Lisa keeps smiling; and Andy Kaufman looks sincere. TWO I Know What You’re Thinking, Mr. Darcy! 21 In which a new concept is introduced; a phobia is revealed; a four-letter word makes a bold-faced appearance (but the French take the blame); Frederick Wentworth betrays himself; Elizabeth Bennet rejects Mr. Darcy; Bridget Jones triumphs over a rival; Tom Jones can’t see what’s in front of his eyes; and the author admits that she has no clue what her nearest and dearest are thinking. THREE Sadistic Benefactors 45 In which readers encounter a third writer named Fielding; a rich man plays with a poor man’s feelings while a beautiful girl watches; an old man plays with a young man’s feelings while a beautiful girl has no clue; and the protagonist of Fight Club shows that he cares. FOUR Theaters, Hippodromes, and Other Mousetraps 55 In which Clarissa is fooled while Evelina watches a fool; Lev Tolstoy, Ernst Lubitsch, and Alfred Hitchcock walk into a hippodrome; and readers are made to think first of Cary Grant and then of Colin Firth. FIVE Movies: The Power of Restraint 79 In which readers return to Hitchcock’s Notorious and realize that neither a bowl of soup nor a cup of coffee are what they seem to be; Matt Damon plays poker; Humphrey Bogart loses the girl; Helen Mirren loses a crumpet; Ralph Fiennes loses his cool; Hillary Clinton almost coughs; and blame is wrongly assigned. Contents viii CONTENTS SIX Mockumentaries, Photography, and Stand-Up Comedy: Upping the Agony 103 In which the makers of The Office reveal their recipe for making us cringe; Hubert Humphrey and John F. Kennedy don’t care how they appear onscreen; film directors hunt for body language that can’t be faked; and Andy Kaufman talks of pulling off his own death. SEVEN Reality TV: Humiliation in Real Time 117 In which emotions build up delightfully; a bachelor turns down a girl (who promptly blames herself); individuals who don’t like reality TV show their true faces; a TV executive claims that people like being humiliated; American Idol is mentioned all too briefly; and a lot of mental energy is spent on strangers. EIGHT Musicals (Particularly around 11 pm) 125 In which Colonel Pickering can hear Higgins in My Fair Lady, but Emile can’t hear Nellie in South Pacific; Sky Masterson slows down time in Guys and Dolls; Audrey Hepburn walks in on one eleven-o’clock number, and Rosalind Russell takes her turn for another; “Mr. Cellophane,” in Chicago, is shown not to be that transparent; Sondheim turns it backward in Merrily We Roll Along and inside out in Sunday in the Park with George; a student and a girl talk up a storm in a thirteenth-century Chinese opera; Evan Rachel Wood complains about singing and acting at the same time; and the author timidly puts forth a suggestion. NINE Painting Feelings 145 In which bubbles are blown and card castles are built; rules for hating abstract art are delineated; extreme measures are taken, and emotions run high; benevolent sons-in-law step into the breach, but some people still sneer; da Vinci lurks; Rubens takes a stroll in the garden; and the author waxes sentimental about a football memoir. TEN Painting Mysteries 169 In which women first appear more inscrutable than men, but then men catch up, and everybody is mysterious all around. Coda 179 Notes 181 Bibliography 197 Index 211 ...

Share