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Chapter 12
- African Perspectives
- Chapter
- Additional Information
146 Chapter 12 One afternoon a few of us were chatting with Father Orsmond in the commonroom. One of the boys asked Father Orsmond to explain the meaning of the word schizophrenia. He tried his best to explain, telling us that it was a progressive deterioration of the personality – an emotional instability characterised by contradictory or conflicting behaviour. I thought about my macho image amongst the boys. I was very popular with them. Many looked up to me. I was mayor and 1st team rugby captain. After every holiday, I would talk about the girls I had met. I was always in love with some girl or another. Then I thought about my sexual relationship with Father Orsmond and silently cringed. On hearing his explanation of schizophrenia, I immediately assumed that I may well be schizophrenic. After all, here’s macho man Mario having sex with another man. As I was wont to do, I quickly swept the thought away. Out of my mind.On leaving Boys’ Town the thought of my being schizophrenicplaguedmefromtimetotime.Alwaysaccompanied by heavy breathing, sweating, palpitations and a terrible itch on my neck, face and arms. And always, I would push the thought from my mind, reassure myself, and get on with things in the best way I could. Soon after I married Linda, and just weeks after my first son Paul was born, I had an excruciatingly painful and confusing experience. It was late one Sunday afternoon and I was relaxing 147 in the lounge of Linda’s home, where we were living. A feeling of sheer panic and confusion overcame me. Sweating, palpitations, difficult – almost impossible – breathing … painful itching all over my body. I was even slightly blinded. I made my way to the kitchen where Linda was busy doing chores. Her mother, sister Marie and boyfriend John were resting. Linda saw the horror and confusion on my face and in my body language. When she asked what was wrong I could not get the words out. They just would not come. I began to shake uncontrollably. She ran to her sister Marie’s room to wake her and John. When they saw my condition they bundled me into their car and sped to Victoria Hospital a short distance away. The clerk on duty in the casualty ward asked me to fill out and sign some forms. I still could not speak, and the shaking and confusion had worsened. A doctor on duty was quickly summoned. I woke up a day later; the doctor had injected me with a powerful sedative. Before discharging me, the doctor suggested that I see my family doctor as a matter of urgency. I did not have one, but my best friend Brandon Platt’s father was a doctor. Brandon arranged an appointment for me. Dr. Manfred Platt gave me a thorough check-up and found nothing physically wrong with me. He knew a bit about my past and suggested I see a psychologist; he had a colleague whom he could recommend. I told him that I did not immediately have the money for treatment. He told me not to worry, that he would take care of it, and made an appointment for the following day. The psychologist’s rooms were somewhere on the upper floors of a skyscraper in the centre of Cape Town. I could see Table Bay and the harbour from the window. He bade me sit down opposite him, and made me feel comfortable and relaxed. I think Dr. Platt had briefed him. He asked me to relate exactly what had happened to me, and how I had felt. After which he asked me to talk about my past, and anything in particular that was worrying me. I told him about my childhood, my parents, Nazareth House and Boys’ [54.221.110.87] Project MUSE (2024-03-28 13:36 GMT) 148 Town. I told him about Father Orsmond and our relationship. I also stressed how grateful I was to Boys’ Town for the opportunity afforded me to receive care and an education. I thought, briefly, that perhaps he himself was Catholic and would not take kindly to what I was telling him. I imagined that he could be silently diagnosing me as schizophrenic. He asked further questions and patiently coaxed me to speak without shame, or fear of judgement on his part. It was a long, long conversation. Then he suddenly stood up and walked around the desk a few times. He stopped behind...