The Cathedral Clergy: A Chronicle

Chapter 16

Chapter 16 While the agitated throng was teeming around the building that harbored the extraordinary phenomenon, there was just as much commotion going on inside the building itself. The police chief, Captain Porokhontsev , dashed into the office in cotton pajama bottoms and a flannel jacket and saw that a devil with horns and claws was indeed there, curled into a ball on the floor, while on the sofa opposite him a huge, shaking mass lay under a soldier’s greatcoat, with two sheepskin coats piled on top: this was the deacon. The entire Old Town aristocracy was standing over the devil in various poses, but their faces did not display the slightest fear at their proximity to the demon. There was, in fact, nothing to fear: anyone could see that this devil was a pitiful thing, shaking from cold and carelessly wrapped in the threadbare tatters of an old felt cloak that Deacon Achilles had once given to Commissar Danilka because it was completely useless. Two cow’s horns were sticking up on the devil’s head, which was also covered with the cloak, to which the horns had been loosely and clumsily tied with dirty twine, while two ordinary iron hooks for hoisting sacks of grain dangled from his hands, which had strips of sheepskin wound around them inside out. But strangest of all was that when one of the soldiers thrust his hand inside the devil’s shirt, he pulled out an old bronze cross on a string with the engraved inscription : “May God rise from the dead and His enemies scatter.” “I told you it was a hoax,” Archpriest Gratsiansky remarked. “Yes, yes—judging from his costume, he certainly looks like the devil, but judging from the holy image, he’s no devil at all,” Zacharias chimed in and, promptly running up to the sphinx, began to question it. “Listen, my friend, who are you, anyway? Huh? Do you hear what I’m saying?… My good fellow!… Do you hear me, huh?… Speak … or else we’ll flog you!… Speak!…” said Zacharias, trying to get a response. But then the police chief intervened and began to interrogate the devil himself, likewise with no success. As the devil began to warm up and regain consciousness, he merely stirred quietly and retreated deeper into his cloak like a tortoise. Various opinions issued from various lips about what to do with the devil now. The police chief favored sending him straight to the governor just as he was, citing a law on monsters and freaks, but the general curiosity provoked a passionate outcry against that decision and gave rise to CHAPTER 16 345 all sorts of arguments aimed at convincing the police chief of the need to disrobe the demon at once and thus satisfy everyone’s impatient, burning curiosity. Only two individuals did not take part in the dispute: Father Zacharias and the mayor. But they did not participate simply because they were busy with their own special investigations: the mayor, a short, stout merchant, kept slowly creeping up to the devil first from one side, then from another, suddenly making the sign of the cross, and then immediately jumping aside quick as a flash to avoid vanishing along with him when the earth swallowed him up, while Zacharias tugged on his horns and whispered under the cloak: “Listen, my friend, listen. Just tell me one thing: were you the one who walked upside down across the father archpriest’s ceiling? If you confess, we won’t flog you.” “Yes,” the devil moaned indistinctly. The first word uttered by the demon created a sudden panic in all present, which then increased when they heard the wild cries of the people outside. The crowd had lost patience and was forcing its way upstairs , demanding that the devil be produced that instant and loudly voicing the strongest suspicion that the police would take a bribe from the devil and let him go back to hell. Some people in the crowd even suggested breaking down the doors to the government offices and taking the devil from the lawful authorities by force. This threat was carried out almost immediately: those inside could hear thumps on the door. But the cavalry captain knew what to do: he winked at one of his police officers, who promptly rolled out the fire hose and, holding the nozzle, climbed onto a fence and directed a powerful stream of cold water at the crowd. The signal had been...