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In Transit
- Wilfrid Laurier University Press
- Chapter
- Additional Information
spaces, the spaces of the people who vanished from our lives. I miss their vital wisdom. The present seems unreal. Or is it only me? Ditta arrives the same day. We spend the night in Szemere. Ivan accommodates all three of us somehow until the next day, when Mild, Ditta and I go back to Budapest through Gyor. After I inquire about Gyula and Anna's latest address, I want to return to Gyor again soon. I begin to outline to Ditta my future plans, my return to Germany, the possibility of emigration overseas later on. I speak about our future as though we will definitely be together. It is the only way I know to begin a new life. I treat it as an established fact that she will come with me. Our friendship lasted through adolescence until fate parted us in war. Wecom plemented each other's missing traits and we never had the ambition to outdo each other; rather, we helped one another if needed. Sowe start to make plans. She stays a few days in Budapest, and we use this time to explore the city, the dream city of her life. We visit different memorable spots at her suggestion, including the Danube Promenade. It is late afternoon when we get there. The lights are just going on, one by one, in the dusk when, at last, we reach the chain bridge on the Pest side. We stop and look over the Danube to its opposite shore, where the Buda hills rise, to the illuminated spots on the hillside. Welean against the pillar on the bridge as the kayaks slide noiselessly underneath, and gaze at Budapest's postcard view, its most characteristic face. Ditta is suddenly very quiet. Her stare goes far away. I don't expect tears. I have hardly ever seen her really crying, and I am alarmed now, as tears are running down her face. "You mean I'll never see that again?" she says. I have no answer. I don't know myself whether there will be a road back here again. I don't try any further convincing. I leave it with her, with what I have already said, assuring her of the small possibilities 116 within my reach, comparing our situation with that of the many longing Hungarians who lack a starting address outside the country. Also, I explain, it is realistic to keep in mind that there is hardship ahead until we eventually get to our ultimate destination, but we can only begin with a sensiblelooking start. The most important thing is that we will be together, and never alone. I leave it with her, with a slight eagerness. I rely on my memories of her from the past: that she always had trust in me, that she sometimes cried, but only in a brief moment of sentimentality. She never wasted energy on useless brooding; she wiped away her sorrows as soon as she decided to do so. The next day, I am not surprised when we go on as if there were never a weak moment. I travel back with her to her cousin's place, where we will start our crucial move, travelling illegally back across the HungarianAustrian border. Conve niently, she lives in a border town. With the help of well informed people, we arrange a meeting with a taxi driver who has a connection with a farmer whose land spans the border. These two, temporary business partners, will help us over to the other side. We agree on the date, on the time and on the cost of the operation. Then, once more on my way to Budapest, I make my planned stopover to visit Gyula and Anna in Gyor. They have stayed the way I cherished them in my memory; sweet, natu rally tender, stable human beings. It seems that they knew more about what awaited us when we left Szemere than we did. I have the feeling they expected me back, more than anybody else, I guess as a consequence of my youth. I am aware that I should give some explanation as to how it happened, but I can't talk about it. They notice and respect my reticence, turn ing to events I couldn't have known about. They tell me first about the hidden iron jewellery box in the garden. Webelieved nobody saw when we buried it there the night before we left. Apparently, the night hid spying eyes...