Bodied Mindfulness: Women’s Spirits, Bodies and Places

1. Self as Spiritual

One Self as Spiritual OBuddhist Mindfulness SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE IS the basis for Buddhist theories of mindfulness. It is probable that every person's spiritual path includes the development of mindfulness, i.e., increased attention to what is happening at any moment. The level of mindfulness corresponds with the kind of reality that one experiences. There is a continuum from drowsiness to wide awakeness, from a state of inertia to one of fullness of being. I focus on Buddhist mindfulness because it was an important part of my own spiritual path and theoretical development. Buddhist mindfulness is not about the individual self in an isolated moment. Rather , it refers to knowing about reality (ontology) as a process of interrelatedness that is shaped by each person, according to their1 ways of perceiving (epistemology). Mindfulness includes paying attention to how one feels in every situation and to how one wants to feel.2 Mindfulness prevents self-loss and facilitates well-being. A goal of those engaged in the spiritual path of Buddhist mindfulness is to minimize confused thinking and distorted emotional reactions. This is a life-long process that is never completed but continually opens up new possibilities for greater connectedness to oneself, other people, and the natural world of animals and things. To illustrate what I mean by Buddhist mindfulness, I shall cite an example where I relied on my training in mindfulness to work through a problematic situation with another person. When in the presence of the other person, with whom I was engaged in a work project, I felt a strong negativity directed toward me that undermined my sense of self-worth and my effectiveness in getting the job done. One night after work, I meditated on that day's encounter with that person, which I had found particularly difficult. My first aim in the meditation was to discover whether there was negativity being directed at me by the other person or whether it was merely me projecting my own negativity outwards. At any rate, I knew that I did not want to continue to engage with that person in such a disturbing way. As I concentrated my attention on the situation that day, images began to appear in my consciousness. They were images Notes to Chapter One are on pages 62-65. 15 16 Bodied Mindfulness of weakness, such as a sick wolf lying down in front of me. I associate the wolf with providing outer protection. The image of the sick wolf led me to realize that I was not protected from external danger. I needed protection from the negative energy that was coming from the other person towards me. After becoming aware of the reality of the negative energy coming from the other person, I concentrated my attention on how to protect myself from self-loss in the face of such negativity. As I focussed my attention on that question, a pack of healthy wolves appeared in my consciousness . They were frisky and moved close to the weak wolf, nuzzling it and helping it to get up. Gradually it stood up and joined the others. They formed a circle around me. I felt protected and strong. Since this meditation , I have been able to work with the same person without experiencing the disruptive entanglement of previous encounters. In the meditation, I became mindful of the need for protection as well as how to protect myself from disempowerment by others. I have used the same technique in other 'chilly climate' situations. I cite this example to illustrate the applicability of Buddhist mindfulness in everyday situations. It is not merely a theory. Buddhist mindfulness is a practice based on a theory that can be connected to other spiritual orientations and to feminist theory and practice . I begin with Buddhism because my training in Buddhist mindfulness was an important turning point on my spiritual path. It was a turning point away from earlier spiritual beginnings, but it is connected to them. I was raised in the Anglican Church, as much as one could say she was raised in any church when living in the Cypress Hills. Church services occurred about three times each summer. St. Margaret's Anglican Church is located at Eagle Butte, Alberta. It has been designated an Alberta Heritage site. Services are conducted there each summer by the son of the minister who came out from Medicine Hat when I was a child. It is likely that the church, located out in the lonely hills where eagles...