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27. Free at Last! No More Performance Anxieties in the Academy ‘Cause Step in Fetchit Has Left the Building
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408 Chapter 27 Free at Last! No More Performance Anxieties in the Academy ‘Cause Stepin Fetchit Has Left the Building Mary-Antoinette Smith Free at last! Free at last! . . . I have a dream that . . . [I] . . . will one day [work in academia and] not be judged by the color of [my] skin but by the content of [my] character. Martin Luther King Jr., adapted from “I Have a Dream” (1963) Stepin Fetchit . . . his is a “mean, hurtful, dirty name,” says New York stage director Dr. Bill Lathan. . . . Black to black it is a curse of condemnation, ostracism and betrayal meant to wound and stigmatize, leaving a mark not easily to be erased. For the white, it is a coded way of saying “n——r,” all the while safe in the knowledge that he or she has never used the N word. Champ Clark, Shuffling to Ignominy: The Tragedy of Stepin Fetchit (2005) Introduction: Facing Hard Truths and Fostering High Hopes The following discussion is a long-overdue narrative analysis of the challenges and rewards I have faced as an African American woman pursuing a meaningful and comfortable fit in the academy. It was a struggle to write this chapter, in part, because its anomalous content is peculiar to my personal and professional journey as a black Free at Last! 409 woman in higher education and, in part, because it forced me to reflect back upon situations that either I had convinced myself no longer mattered, or had denied into dormant nonexistence. However reluctant my reminiscent journey, the profound truth I have embraced in the process is that these events did happen, and they do matter, even if since then I have overcome any latent trauma and moved into a more positive outlook about their occurrence. I also have come to terms with the honest appraisal that—even though incidents in my narrative may be characterized as mild when compared with those of my fellow faculty members of color—they have made an indelible mark on the ways that—and the reasons why—I still feel I have to “perform ” as a dark-skinned university professor, colleague, and conference presenter. As the following discussion reveals in greater detail, my testimonial comes from a relatively fortunate African American academic woman, but even though it is embedded within a woven fabric of more challenging and less grace-filled narratives of a wide range of women of color in the academy, I know it is an important and intriguing, bittersweet memoir that begs to be told. Certain parts of my story are not the norm, and my overall success and perspective indicate what is possible, rather than hopelessly grim, for faculty women of color in the academy. Consequently —in spite of the occasional difficulties that have surfaced throughout my journey to professional success in the ivory tower—I maintain a positive and hopeful outlook for myself and other faculty of color in our pursuits of achievements within the academy. Finally—and perhaps most importantly—I am realistic and sensitive to the reality that my positive perspective is juxtaposed against troubling and pervasive statistics on the possibility that faculty of color, particularly women, can integrate affirmatively, substantially, and successfully into a congenial, scholarly, working environment in the academy. For example, within the past decade, a report titled “The (Un)Changing Face of the Ivy League” cited that minority “women have made little progress in breaking into the faculty ranks of the Ivy League . . . . In 2003 Ivy League campuses hired 433 new professors in tenure-track jobs, but only 14 were black and 8 were Hispanic, and of the overall total only 150 were women. These figures show the slow progress such highly visible universities as Harvard, Yale, and Princeton are making in diversifying their faculty” (“Media Resources,” New York Times, March 1, 2005). Given these realities, how can I not be concerned about my fellow faculty women of color, not only on my own campus but on other campuses nationwide as well? There are dark days in the ivory tower when my sensibilities weep for the pain-filled experiences endured by faculty women of color who combat covertly and overtly hostile campus environments that are unwelcoming and downright exclusionary. Some of their narratives are found in this current volume, as well as in comparable works, such as Black Women in the Academy: Promises and Perils; Race, Class and Gender: Black Women in Academia; Spirit, Space and Survival: African American Women in (White) Academe; The Leaning Ivory...