Up the Capitol Steps: A Woman's March to the Governorship

Epilogue: A Few Final Thoughts on Family, Friends, and Feminism

408 epilogue A Few Final Thoughts on Family, Friends, and Feminism Family I grew up in a home filled with love that set the standard of caring for the rest of my life. My parents, Bob and Carmen Hughey, gave me unconditional love. My sister, Pat, added beauty, sharing, and laughter. The joy of being a mother and watching my two sons grow from infancy to manhood has broadened and deepened my life in ways I could never have imagined. Mike and Mark have given me my greatest pride and most tremendous sense of purpose. My older son, Mike, has accomplished so many things the “experts” predicted he would never be able to do. He has just recently retired after thirty years on his job delivering the mail on the Mt. Hood Community College campus. He may sometimes march to a different drummer, but he has earned his spot as a “member of the band.” Mike makes me beam with pride at his unpredicted successes. My younger son, Mark, faced challenges as a teenager and young man as he dealt with the anger and disappointment at his father’s abandonment. Yet his basic intelligence and very good heart won the battle. Mark has been a very hard worker all his life with a quick head for math plus sales and negotiating skills. When his first marriage failed after six years, he ended up with custody of his two Mark and Tammy A Few Final Thoughts 409 children. My pride in watching Mark mature and grow as a father has given me the sense that I may have done my job of parenting with some success. Mark is a caring parent, a committed husband, a good provider, and a loving son. He warms my heart. Tammy, Mark’s wife, is definitely a special package. She is only four foot ten inches tall, part Native American and part Hispanic, was adopted at birth, and grew up in a family with the last name of Swanson. In spite of her long dark hair and her skin tone, she tells me she grew up thinking she was tall and blond! That image may have given her a little attitude. She’s a hard worker, loves my son completely, worked diligently to raise her daughter, Melissa, as a single parent and then to be a good stepmother to my two grandchildren. Melissa is now the mother of two. I have tried hard to understand the boundaries of being a good mother-in-law. I hope she thinks I have succeeded. I was in the delivery room when each of my two grandchildren, Katie and Robert, were born. I fell madly in love with them at birth. Robert, now twenty, and I have long shared our love of basketball and are Portland Trail Blazer fans. He has a wicked and dry sense of humor that totally entertains me. He is tall, slender, smart, and has the kind of charm that warms female hearts—including Grandma’s. He is now serving in the U.S. Navy. Katie spent years in dance classes doing tap, jazz, and even hip-hop. She danced with skill and selfconfidence . After high school graduation she gave up dance classes and joined the Army, an interesting transition. She was “my girl” for a long time, and it is hard when growing up results in growing away. Her return home to Oregon as a veteran and an adult will give us an opportunity to build a new kind of relationship. I can’t wait. Growing up in a family of very solid, long-term marriages, I had almost no experience with “step” relationships. Over the years I gained new insights as two stepdaughters, fourteen stepgrandchildren , and two step-great-grandchildren gave my life new texture and new love. Most notable in this category are Frank’s two daughters, Mary Wendy and Leslie. They are quite different My grandchildren, Robert and Katie 410 Up the Capitol Steps women and I have very different relationships with them. Frank’s elder daughter, Mary Wendy, has, over the years, been a very political person. She has held the offices of state Representative, state Senator, and Oregon Commissioner of Labor and Industries, impressive accomplishments. You might imagine that two statewide elected women in one family could occasionally create some political tensions, and it did. Today, Mary’s daughter, Alex, is on staff at Metro and in my...