Praise Her Works: Conversations with Biblical Women

5 Rachel

33 o Chapter 5 Rachel IRIT KOREN :VÇ¥n¦ják thÃßc¥< e¥Äj ¦r¢N¤ ý n r÷°jIx ,IºH^bªt¡F v¥,&h¥‚v “She is like traders’ ships, bringing her food from afar” (Prov. 31:14). v,n iht otu ohbc hk vcv ceghk vrnta kjr uz 'rjux ,uhbtf v,hv ihbgf 'auhc iuak tkt ,j, ihtu /hfbt ohvkt ,j,v cegh vk rnt /hfbt ,esmv kg ohnjr ,aec tka lhhs tk v"cev uk rnt /uacu u,j rntba /lna kg treb ubhtu ic vk i,ubu vrfuz hbta lhhj 'v,ahhca tkt uzv /cegh ,t rnt tku kjr ,t ohvkt rfzhu thv tsv She is like a merchant fleet, this is Rachel, who said to Jacob: “Give me children, or I shall die!” (Gen. 30:1). Jacob responded, “Can I take the place of God … ?” (Gen. 30:2). This is nothing but a language of shame, as it is said, “they were afraid and ashamed” (Isa. 37:27). The Holy One, Blessed be He, said to him, “Isn’t it enough that you didn’t pray for mercy for that righteous woman, but you embarrass her, too? By your life, I shall remember her and give her a child, but he will not have your name.” Thus it is written: “Now God remembered Rachel” (Gen. 30:22) and Jacob is not mentioned. —Midrash ha-Gadol When Rebekah and Isaac send Jacob to Haran, to find his first wife—among the daughters of Rebekah’s brother, Laban— Jacob obeys. His brother, Esau, had rejected his parents’ wishes by taking a wife from his Uncle Ishmael’s children. JacobmeetshiscousinRachel,youngerdaughterofhisUncleLaban who is pleased that Jacob has come. He has an older daughter, Leah, who is described as having eyes that are unappealing in some way, and Rachel is described as having great beauty. Jacob falls in love with Rachel and agrees to work seven years for Laban as a bride-price for Rachel. 34 Praise Her Works Laban tricks him, though, and under cover of darkness, he puts Leah in Rachel’s place in the marriage tent. Jacob wakes up the next day, discovers the deception and cries: “What is this you have done to me? I was in your service for Rachel! Why did you deceive me?” (Gen. 30:25). Laban’s answer is: “It is not the practice in our place to marry off the younger before the older” (30:26). Laban agrees to give Rachel to Jacob on the condition that he will work seven more years for her. Jacob, yearning for Rachel, agrees to this condition. However, Rachel and Jacob’s life together is still not simple. Leah gives birth to son after son, but Rachel is unable to conceive. Finally in desperation Rachel cries to Jacob for help: “Give me children, or I shall die.” Jacob is incensed by Rachel and says, “Can I take the place of God, who has denied you fruit of the womb?” (Gen. 30:1,2). Midrash ha-Gadol responds to this bitter exchange between husband and wife and takes the side of Rachel. She then gives birth to Joseph, the favored son who is rejected by all his older brothers and who saves his family when he rises to power in Egypt many years later. Commentary ThemidrashviewsRachelasatradingship.Indeed,Rachelshows throughout her life a talent for trading. First she trades being a bride for the continued love of her sister. The sieges describe how she provides Leah with certain signs known only to her and Jacob so he will remain convinced that he is spending his first night of married life with Rachel. Years later, when both sisters are married to Jacob, Rachel sells Leah another night with Jacob in return for the mandrake plant that Leah’s son Reuben has given her. She trades love for the possibility of fertility. When that doesn’t work, she offers a harsh trade to Jacob: He must give her sons or lose her forever. The second part of the midrash focuses on the interaction between Rachel and Jacob that results from the trade she is proposing. The midrash severely judges Jacob’s answer to Rachel because he showed no empathy toward his wife in her grief and distress. Compare the tender way 35 Chapter 5 Rachel Elkanah answers Hannah when she stops eating and sleeping for lack of a child. He says, “Am I not more devoted to you than ten sons?” (1 Sam. 1:8). Jacob callously rebukes her. According to the midrash, Rachel is a righteous woman; thus she conceives a son. Jacob’s punishment , according to the midrash, is that “… God remembered Rachel” (Gen. 30:22). She is remembered by God, not Jacob. Rachel finally bears a boy and she is the one who names him Joseph. Jacob is not even mentioned as part of the process. Rachel and Leah represent a co-wife dynamic similar to the ones between Sarah and Hagar, and Hannah and Peninnah. “Any two pairs of women … are always defined as two rivals who are interlinked by family ties and interlock in social combat, as if no alternative pattern of social behavior is conceivable for them in such a situation.”1 Rachel’s and Leah’s jealousy toward each other ends up destroying them both, not only on a personal level, but on a national one as well. Their children internalize the jealousy of their mothers. This paradigm contrasts with other patterns found in the Bible that emphasize women’s cooperation with each other for gaining the most from the patriarchal society in which they live. The relationship between Ruth and Naomi is an example.2 Once Rachel gives birth to her first son, Joseph, she returns to her womb competition with Leah, trying to keep up with her in producing sons. Yet Leah is always a few steps ahead. Because of Leah’s success in this arena, Rachel perceives herself as worthless, a tragic figure. Even though she has Jacob’s love, even though he talks only to her, and even though, when he prepares to meet his brother, Esau, he protects her more than all the others—Rachel is not content. She still envies her sister’s ever-blooming womb. In her agony, Rachel cries out to Jacob—demanding he give her boys and threatening that she will die if he does not. Ironically, it will be the birth of her next son, Benjamin , that brings about her death. There is an extraordinary midrash that claims that Rachel’s craving for more children was her downfall. The Akedat Yitzchak, a 15th-century biblical commentary, contains this observation: 36 Praise Her Works We learn from the two names that were given to Eve of the two purposes that women have in the world. The first name was Isha (Woman), thus it says: “Then the man said, ‘This one at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. This one shall be called Isha (Woman), for from Ish (Man) was she taken” (Gen. 2:23). Thus the first purpose is driven by the name Isha. Like a man, a woman can develop her intellect and virtue, just as our Matriarchs, righteous women, and prophetesses did. The second purpose of a woman is to become a vessel for fertility and raising children. This we learn from her second name, Eve, thus it says: “The man named his wife Eve because she was the mother of all the living” (3:20). Therefore, a woman who can’t bring children into the world is unable to fulfill her small [and secondary] purpose in the world, but is not exempt from her bigger purpose; that is, being righteous and doing good deeds like a man who is infertile. Jacob became upset with Rachel because she looked only at her small purpose —her fertility—and saw no meaning in living without fulfilling that purpose.3 How extraordinary it is for Rabbi Yitzchak Arama to refer to the fertility aspect as the “small purpose” of the woman. Rachel, who focuses on her lack of fertility, feeling it defines her, ends up losing all. She dies while giving birth, losing her husband’s love and missing out on her sons’ growing up. The irony of Rachel’s death is that Jacob, who works seven years for her—years that seem to him “but a few days because of his love for her” (Gen. 29:20)—and then works an additional seven years, is the one who indirectly brings her demise. Jacob swears that the one who stole Laban’s idols will die, not knowing that his beloved wife is the thief. Rachel dies in childbirth and is buried alone on the road to Bethlehem. Perhaps because of Rachel’s early, tortured death, she remains in the collective memory of Israel as the great and merciful mother. She is the one who cries and begs before God when the people of Israel, her sons, are expelled from their land. She is the one God comforts. She is the one to whom God makes a promise that her children will return from the land of the enemy, on account of her merit (Jer. 31:15). 37 Chapter 5 Rachel Rachel Speaks Silence. Only I am awake in the tent. Around me the women are dozing: Leah and our handmaidens, Bilhah and Zilpah. The men are in the tent next to us. Now, silence. Two contractions and the baby has not yet emerged. For two days now my cries fill the emptiness of the tent. They can be heard from one end of the world to the other. My strength has waned and so has the strength of my loved ones. I told Jacob to go rest. It has already been two days since he began fasting for my sake. And my sister, my love and my rival, is completely worn out from taking care of me. She lies exhausted at my feet, dreaming. Now, it is quiet. From the roof of the tent, the moon shines down on me, almost full, but still not quite full—like me. The hyenas are laughing from afar and a hot wind can be heard whispering, like a secret melody, a dirge. I already know that my death is coming. I just have to give birth and bring forth another little boy and afterward, I can sleep, sleep. My body is dying, I have no more strength, as if my spirit and my blood have been sucked out of me and I am an empty sack. At this moment, as the pain stops, calm falls over me. My spirit is free even if my body is not. In a little while, I’ll leave this behind. And through my dull senses, I am able to see episodes of my life, this one turning to that one, the times all mixed up. There are still so many words that need to be said and in a little while it will be too late. Now, before the pain returns. Now, if only you can all hear me. My dear sister, Leah, how often we fought and how jealous we were of each other. You lusted after a love that was not for you, and I lusted after sons I could not have. It was to prove that I have a purpose, that I am not empty, that I, too, can be a mother. My sister, the two of ushavebeenbarren,youfromloveandIfromchildren.Istilldon’tknow today which kind of barrenness is more difficult. Believe me when I say to you that I love you with all my heart. Believe me when I say to you that my heart shrank when we walked together and they made fun of you, of your delicate eyes. Believe me, that is not how I wanted it to be, 38 Praise Her Works the two of us fighting over the love of one man and his seed. How it distressed me when I saw the hurt in your eyes as you looked at Jacob and me, when you saw the love I received from him without even trying . As for me, I could not help but be jealous of your womb, ever fertile with children. Leah, there have been many nights when I prayed that my husband who is yours also would learn to divide his love between us. But he never did. Jacob is a man of one love and even now, I see that he loves Joseph more than all his sons, and I know that this is not a good thing, not at all. Jealousy is mighty as She’ol (the underworld ). It is hard to face the fact that love is given to one and not to the other. Believe me, I wanted the two of us to be loved and to love each other and to give birth to sons and daughters. But fate did not want it this way … Will you forgive me, my sister, for the harsh words and insults I said in the thick of anger and weakness? Doesn’t your blood course through my veins? How can I hate you? The thought that in a little while our paths will separate brings tears to my eyes. So, be certain that there is a reward for all you have done, that kings are going to come from you, my very own sister, great kings. Now, suddenly an image jumps out at me: the well where Jacob and I first met. Jacob, you wept when you saw me. Oh, Jacob, my heart, my heart is with you, for now you will be left with many sons, but without your beloved wife. Your love for me was difficult , not only the fact that you were with my sister and I brought this upon myself, but also that you did not sense my desires. I wanted a child and you thought that your love for me would be enough. I forgive you, for I know that you were helpless and that this pain was what caused you to berate me when I turned to you in my bitterness. Jacob, will you instruct your children with wisdom ? Will you teach them that hatred and love are forces that one must learn to control with restraint and patience? Will you learn at last how to divide your love equally? Will you remember fondly your beloved wife who died at the crossroads and did not merit 39 Chapter 5 Rachel seeing her children grow up? Children or perhaps there will be only one child … Joseph, my precious son with such a beautiful body and such a beautiful face. How will you grow up without a mother’s love? How can I abandon this world and leave you an orphan? How can I not live to see the man you will become one day? Can you believe that my soul will continue to protect you? Will you be able to remember your mother’s love? Will you grow up to be always good and merciful? Will you learn to forgive the wrongs that will be done to you? The light is shining now and the pain is starting to return. Contractions and crying and whispers in the tent. Here is my sister and here are Bilhah and Zilpah and in a short time Jacob will come running . It is all a fog and the words aren’t coming to me and all I hear are sobs and murmurs hovering above my head. Here I am, giving birth. Crying, pain, contractions. “A son,” they are shouting, “A son!” They place him at my breast. “Ben-oni, son of my suffering,” I whisper. My boy, my love. But my throat is dry and the words are not coming and there is still so much I wanted to say. Now I am separated from them and I am at peace, I am leaving you, but my soul will continue to protect you, if only you will believe it. If only you will believe. A Message from Rachel Please, try not to fail where I did. See your larger purpose in life. Consider what you, and you alone, can bring to the world. I got all caught up in seeing myself only as a vessel for fertility. My sister was the perfect vessel, bringing child after child into the world for Jacob while all I brought him was emptiness. Jealousy blinded me; it nearly destroyed my relationship with Leah. Why do we women do this to each other: mothers to daughters, sisters to sisters, friends to friends? Sometimes I wonder: What do we want so badly that we fear we won’t get enough of it? Why is another woman seen as the ideal, the threat, the obstacle? 40 Praise Her Works For Further Thought Consider the difficulty Rachel had in conceiving. How did she feel about her infertility? What did she think was the solution? Compare this to the difficulties and solutions experienced by other nashei chayil (women of valor); for example, Sarah, Hannah, the Shunammite Woman, and Hatzlelponi. Rachel is considered throughout Jewish history to be a model of compassion. Rachel’s Tomb outside Bethlehem is a place where people go when they need healing, especially women who are experiencing infertility. In a midrash from Lamentations Rabbah, Rachel challenges God, saying that just as she was able to overcome her jealousy of Leah, who married Jacob before she did, God should be able to overcome being jealous of foreign idols, for which reason the Holy Temples were destroyed. This midrash can be found in a collection called The Defiant Muse: Hebrew Feminist Poems from Antiquity to the Present (New York: The Feminist Press, 1999), Poem 24 on page 63. What do you make of Rachel’s challenge? For a creative analysis of the classical midrashim that focus on the relationship between Rachel and Leah, see the chapter called “‘A Separate People’: Rabbinic Delineations of the Worlds of Women” by Judith Baskin, scholar on Jewish women, in Midrashic Women: Formations of the Feminine in Rabbinic Literature (Hanover, NH: Brandeis University Press, 2002), pages 145–150. ...