Folktales of Joha, Jewish Trickster

12: Joha and the law

12 JOHA and the law “Don’t blame the thief, blame the one who leaves the door open.” C H A P T E R 207 F o l k t a l e s o f J o h a 208 “Joha, Pull the Door!” You should know that this stupid Joha was always doing bad things, without knowing that they were bad. Joha’s mother was ill and was lying in bed. Joha wanted to go out for a walk. His mother said: “Look, Joha, when you go out, pull the door,” thinking that he was only going to give it a push to shut it. But instead Joha pulled it . . . took it off its hinges and put it on his shoulders. Well, then he carried it off, and thieves entered the house and emptied the whole of it. They didn’t leave a thing behind. They took all the jewelry, all the rings that Joha’s mother had, and a little money. They stuffed everything in a sack and ran off. The house remained without a door. That stupid Joha went off with the door on his shoulders and walked and walked . . . and came to a wood. Just as he got there, night fell. He wanted to return home, but he couldn’t see the road. He still had the door on his shoulders . Everything grew dark, and he remained there. He climbed up a tree, placed the door on the branches, and thought he would go to sleep. He said: “Early in the morning I will wake with the birds and return home. What else can I do?” Now, on this tree there were nuts. Every few minutes Joha took a nut, cracked it, and ate it, to pass the time. As he was about to fall asleep, he suddenly heard people walking about down below. “Good God!” he said. “What is this?” Those who were sitting under the tree were talking: “This is for me . . . This is for you . . . This is for me . . . This is for you.” They were sharing things among themselves. Joha cast a glance, saw that they were holding a small lantern, and saw that they were dividing up the money, the jew- J o h a a n d t h e L a w 209 elry, and the gems from his house. He said: “Good God, what have I fallen into?” And without noticing it, he had spoken in a loud voice. Hearing his voice, the thieves said: “What is this? Can it be that there is a jinn* who is listening? . . . Woe to us!” Joha was frightened and began to throw nuts on the thieves’ heads. They said: “Woe to us! Who knows! Perhaps there is a lion, a devil, a demon there?” When Joha moved about, the branches and the door broke, and the door fell on the heads of the thieves. Joha, from fear, clung to the tree, and the thieves ran away, running, running, running like madmen, so that this devil, this demon should not grab them. Well, then, Joha began to climb down from the tree very slowly and cautiously, and under the door, he found the little lantern the thieves had brought with them. He took the lantern and saw there money and jewels and all manner of fine things. He collected everything, put it in one big pot, and tied it all up well. He said: “Son of a mamzer! Now I have the little light, I will begin to walk. Perhaps I will be able to get out of this wood.” He began to walk, carrying the door with one hand and, with the other, all the valuables. And what should I tell you, to cut a long story short? Walking, walking . . . the dawn came. And when the birds began to fly and sing, at the time of the morning prayer, Joha arrived home and saw his mother standing in the doorless doorway , crying, “Everything is gone!” Joha said to her: “Look, Mother, I have brought you the door. Take it! And take this as well!” * Arabic for “evil spirit” F o l k t a l e s o f J o h a 210 His mother saw all the riches—because the thieves had robbed the whole neighborhood—and said: “This is not mine! Ya, haboub,* this is not mine!” Joha said to her: “Look, Mother, I brought...