Biblical Women Unbound: Counter-Tales

Tamar: The Widow's Wager

Tamar: The Widow's Wager .:. Men pass and whisper. "Tamar!" "Look out!" "Husbandklllerl " They tell their sons: "Don't start with that one!" Theysayno one knows how, exactly. Couch corruptions. Lively in bed is one thing, but this went too farl Woke in the morning and the man was cold. No warming with a kiss and a cuddle. Stone-cold! Not once but twice! Tamar in her tent hears the whispers. No one comes near but her old nurse, who sees her agony and tries mirroring therapy: "How painful this is for you, my darUng." And empathy therapy: "How I feel your suffering, my dove!" "Stop that," says Tamar. "I'm thinking." "Don't, my dove, my precious. Mourning and grieving are best for you now." "I've no time," says Tamar. "Do you know how late it is? I don't need morning. I need evening. And bed. With a man in it who's not too selfish or feeble to father." The nurse weeps. It's all too tragic. "No one dares come to your bed, my darling. Alittle denial might lift your spirit, but you can't lose your sense of reality altogetherl" "Go away," says Tamar. "It's not denial or reality I need now. It's something different!" • 116. Tamar: The Widow~ Wager "What? What could that be, my darling? Different is always dangerous!" "I won't know until I think of it. Go away and let me think." Silently, secretly, in the night, Tamar sends for Shelah, Judah's youngest son. "I wanted to see for myself anyway," says Shelah. "ls it true, what people say, you killed my brothers? Why would you do that-make yourself widowed and childless? There's no sense to it!" Tamar is silent, only rocks back and forth, holding herself at her empty middle. "l'm supposed to be yourhusband," saysShelah. "Would you kill me too?" Not looking at him. Only her silent rocking. liMy brother Er died three days after marriage. Onan within the first week. Show me your face. Let me see the monster who kills. The one my father warned. me of." Slowly, Tamar lifts her veU. "You're beautiful! Did my brothers want to keep you unmarred by childbearing? Was that their sin? I feel no fear. When can we marry?" "Your father says you're a child. Go away." "He says that only because he thiilks you'll kill me, too. I don't think you will. Do you think my father will give you to me for a wife if I ask him?" "No. He will say again that you're a child." Shelah crawls into her lap where she sits on the floor. "Then I'll beyourchild, now thatmy motheris dead." Tamar • 117. Tamar enfolds him in her arms. They rock back and forth together. After a little, 'Shelah says, "You see? I am not too young to be your husband. Let me begin now.II "You have the sweetness of a boy, the ardor of a man," answers Tamar. "Your skin is silk. Your thighs are cedar trunks, your limbs are w1llow trees. One minute you nestle at my breast like a child, the next you want to plunge like a lion! Ab, I see howJudah saved the best for last! From this embrace there will be no turning back!" Weeks pass. And when the old nurse comes to care for Tamar she asks in alarm, "Where are the cloths I must wash for you at this time of the moon? What-none? Death! Death! Who will help us?" Tamaranswers, "Calm yourself, dear Nurse. I was meant to have a child by Shelah, and now it is fulfilled." "He is forbidden to you! Poor child, death is your portion . Judah will not let you go unpunished. What if Shelah should die like his brothers?" "It is done, and Shelah has not died for It. Judah can rejoice!" "Done, then, but not in the right way. Notwith acknowledgments to power. This disobedience is death!" "Judah sold hisbrother intoslavery, betrayed his father's heart, and was forgiven!" "Death! Death! My poor chUd Don't compare yourself! Shelah is denied to you!" "Then I will ensnare him," says Tamar with conviction. "The son who was promised to you and then withheld? That is bold, I see the justice of your wish, but still ..." • 118. Tamar: The Widow's Wager "No.. not...