Why Do They Kill?: Men Who Murder Their Intimate Partners

8. Victim Help-Seeking

220 8 | Victim Help-Seeking In the previous chapter, I discussed some of the self-help strategies that the victims had employed prior to the attempts of their lives. The vast majority of the women had also turned to many other people as well as agencies for help.1 These included the police, courts, medical centers, counselors , battered women’s programs, child protection agencies, and clergy. Nearly all the victims had also turned to friends, relatives, and neighbors for help at some point during their relationships with their abusive partners . A summary of institutions and individuals that victims turned to for help is presented in Table 8.1. This listing provides only a partial picture of victim help-seeking since it does not include the context of how victims sought help, what they wanted from the potential helper, and what kind of help, if any, was offered. To understand more about this, we asked each victim to discuss in detail her experience with each type of potential helper. We also asked victims to talk about the impact of these helpers on them, including whether they were satisfied or dissatisfied, whether they had been encouraged or discouraged, and whether they believed the help provided had made them more safe or placed them in more danger. Police Four of the victims credited the police with saving their lives, and in one woman’s case, the lives of her children. Some of these cases have already been described, but all four are briefly summarized here in order to show the value of rapid police responses to domestic violence situations. Victim Help-Seeking | 221 1) Erika’s estranged husband, Lyle, had abducted her in his van on the night he raped her and then stabbed her in the neck. As he drove her around in his van for two hours, alternately speaking tenderly to her and threatening to kill her, Erika remained remarkably calm and resourceful in her effort to talk Lyle down and to buy additional time. Twice, she convinced Lyle to let her call home to speak with her children who, unbeknownst to him, had already called the police. With Lyle monitoring these calls, Erika was careful not to allude to the police or to say anything else that might panic him. Already having been raped and stabbed, she was in the midst of negotiating with him about what she would tell the police when three police cruisers blockaded the van and arrested Lyle at gunpoint. 2) Without saying a word in advance, Rodney punched Cheryl in the eye as she was ironing her clothes, breaking her eye socket. Table 8.1: Victim help-seeking prior to the act of attempted homicide Type of help Percent of victims who sought this type of help Sought help from her family 73 Obtained protective order 70 Sought medical treatment for domestic violence injury 68 Called police 65 Sought help from friend(s) 63 Sought help from abuser’s family 40 Sought help from a therapist 40 Sought help from a battered women’s program 40 Filed criminal charge 35 Received help from neighbor(s) 35 Sought help from a clergyperson 15 Received psychiatric inpatient treatment 15 N=20 222 | Why Do They Kill? He then grabbed the hot iron and pressed it repeatedly against her face. All the while, Cheryl passed in and out of consciousness. Finally, Rodney strangled Cheryl until she passed out in the bathroom. Rodney then called the police to say he’d killed his wife. By the time they arrived and were knocking on the door, Cheryl had revived. Brandishing a knife, Rodney told her, “Now I’m going to finish you off, bitch.” The police found Rodney standing over Cheryl with a knife when they burst in and shouted for him to freeze. 3) Vickie confronted her husband, Paul, after coming home and finding him in bed with another woman. Later that evening, Paul came home from work and asked Vickie for $20 so he could buy some beer. When she refused, he punched her in the head, causing her to bleed profusely. Perhaps knowing that he wanted to kill her, Paul then took the two children next door to stay with a neighbor. When he returned, he took off his clothing and attempted to have sex with Vickie. When she said no, he put his hands around her throat and began to squeeze. Seeing “black spots...