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139 Chapter 11 Jonah, August–September 2010 How Does ECT Work? August 31, 2010 “Jonah, stop it!” Marina commands from the last row of our fifteen-person passenger van. “We do not hit!” My eyes dart to the rearview mirror, trying to assess the situation while driving sixty-five miles per hour up the Atlantic City Expressway . I hear more than I see the ongoing struggle: Jonah yelling, the rustling and muted slaps of Marina’s hands blocking Jonah’s fists, the dull thump of shoulders and backs bouncing off seats. I scout ahead for a place to pull over that can accommodate our enormous vehicle. “Ow! Jonah, stop it!” “I’m pulling over!” I call back, but Marina tells me not to; Jonah has retreated under his blanket. “Are you okay?” I ask. “He pulled out a whole handful of Marina’s hair,” Erika reports from the seat right behind me, like a color commentator narrating a basketball game. Although Jonah’s behavior has been great all summer , Erika—like Hilary and the twins—has grown up watching her brother strike the adults in the house and she’s used to it. What has always amazed me is that the kids were never afraid of Jonah—even when his tantrums were at their worst, they would just walk around him thrashing on the floor, pause to ask me if they could have a snack or play outside, then continue on their way as if this sort of thing happened in every house. It’s true Jonah never hit them, but they did witness many fierce attacks, including one time Jonah grabbed me by the hair and pulled me to my knees, and I couldn’t free myself because every time I tried to peel his fingers back he would hit me with his other hand. Finally, I had to ask two-year-old Aaron, in as Each Day I Like It Better 140 calm a voice as I could muster, if he could please go find Uncle Matty upstairs and tell him that Mommy needed his help. “I’m okay,” Marina says. I’m not. After more than four months of almost perfect behavior, of watching Jonah’s school disruption graphs flatline at zero, of glowing reports to Dr. Wachtel, of Jonah literally becoming the poster child for ECT, as Dr. Wachtel featured him in psychiatry conferences all over the world—after four months of believing my son would never hurt another person again, the rage is back. While Jonah had seemed more agitated than usual over the past month, we were all caught off guard by the aggression that resurfaced this week. We were celebrating the last days of summer vacation at our house in Atlantic City, typically one of Jonah’s favorite places. But he no longer seemed comfortable in his own skin. Restless , irritable, and demanding, he was unable to enjoy playing in the waves or cruising on our boat. His food obsession was all-consuming and whatever else we offered was immediately rejected. “No roller coaster! No playground! No tube!” Then, two days ago, on the fivemile walk along the boardwalk that either Andy, Marina, or I take with Jonah every morning we’re in Atlantic City, Jonah had a preECT caliber meltdown. Marina didn’t go into a lot of detail when they returned, shrugging it off as she always did, but he must have attacked her viciously because she ended up accidentally scratching him, leaving an ugly red mark down the side of his right cheek. Darkness settles through the van as Erika and Hilary, then Jonah, fall asleep. We’re going home in the middle of our shore week for two reasons: Jonah has ECT tomorrow morning, and Erika, Hilary, and I are going up to Manhattan with Keri and Declan to celebrate Declan’s birthday with a performance of Wicked and frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity. Thursday morning we’ll drive back to Atlantic City for Labor Day weekend. But as excited as I’ve been to take the kids to Wicked, right now the New York City trip seems more like an inconvenience I can’t get out of. I’d much rather be in the ECT suite tomorrow morning, explaining Jonah’s deterioration to Dr. Jaffe myself, instead of sending in my report via Marina. And I’d rather be spending the afternoon with Jonah, watching him carefully to see if this seizure has the thera- [3.136.97...

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