La Clínica: A Doctor's Journey Across Borders

Chapter Two

 I SLEPT FoR EIgHT HoURS, AND WHEN I WoKE UP I TRIED To remember what had happened before I went to sleep. Laura had been there, and we had talked about Mexico—about my going down to the village again—and as I was trying to remember what we said about it, the phone rang. It was Rick. Usually, when the emergency department attending physician called me, it was for one of two reasons. Either something had happened in the department—a patient died whom we had sent home, a doctor or nurse was hurt by a patient—or the oncoming attending had not shown up at the appropriate time and could not be located. It was about the right time for that second type of call. “The nurses told me about you, about your wife. I feel terrible. Why didn’t you tell me?” Rick asked. “I . . . I guess it’s so personal, and I don’t really believe it yet. I keep thinking she’ll change her mind,” I said. “I don’t want to pry, but if there’s anything I could do . . . ?” he said. “Well actually, I was thinking of going down to Mexico in a few weeks. I have a Friday and Saturday night shift I need to trade. you’re working the Thursday night shift. Do you think you could do them?” “Friday and Saturday night after a Thursday night? That’s pretty tough. My wife told me I shouldn’t do more than two nights in a row because I get so grouchy. But considering the situation, I’ll do it.” “you will?” “Sure.” chapter two  • david p. sklar “I’ll make it up to you,” I said. “oh, don’t worry about it. But why do you want to go to Mexico? Why don’t you just go out and buy her flowers?” “Well, I need some space to think. And Mexico was the place I first got going on the doctor track. It was where I really decided to be a doctor. I’m wondering if there’s some clue down there about why it turned out like this.” “yeah, for me it was the army. Before that, I would have been a chemist or a physicist; but in vietnam, with all the guys getting shot and bleeding, I changed my mind. But you still should get her flowers, take her out. That’s what I did when my wife wanted to leave me.” “When did your wife want to leave you?” I asked. “Lots of times.” “Really? I never knew,” I said. “No, I never told anyone,” he said. “What about your kids? What did you tell them? What are you going to do with them?” “I don’t know,” I said. “They cried. I mean their whole world is upside down. They wanted to know where they would sleep. Could they bring their clothes with them? Would we have to move?” “That’s terrible,” he said. “We had our kids after years of trying. It was the best thing we’ve ever done. I always liked your wife. She was perky and a little wild. you were always too serious, but she had that wild streak, like a wild horse. When you two got married was the last time I wore my black suit. Do you have a girlfriend?” “What? No, of course not.” “What about her?” “Well, no; I don’t think so.” “Maybe she’ll come back.” “Maybe, but I’m not going to hold my breath,” I said. “you’re not one to let go of something easily. I remember that study you did on sepsis where you had to review hundreds of charts. I told you it was impossible. But you did it, a few charts every week. I couldn’t believe it. It must have taken a year.” “Two years, actually,” I said and then continued. “I’m not letting go. Well, maybe I am. you know, sometimes you just have to accept reality. you can’t have a marriage if only one person wants it. you need two. I mean, in the trauma room, I’ll fight to save someone, particularly if it’s a young person, as long as there’s any chance. Maybe longer  la clínica • than that. But eventually you know. The eyes cloud over and the skin feels cold, and everyone begins to look at you...