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239 Postscriptum Marvin Finell died in October 1998. He had suffered from progressive supranuclear palsy (PSP). It is a brain disease that takes years to develop, while in the interim it destroys part of the brain. In its early stages it mimics Parkinson’s disease. It changes the person’s personality and, with it, his behavior. Marvin suffered physically in the final stages, and there was no cure. I had forgiven him long before I learned about the dreadful disease he had contracted. I forgave him but wished I had known the causes of his behavior earlier. Mainly, I would have wanted Stephanie to know that her father, who hurt her so deeply on many occasions, had, maybe through his illness, become a changed man. I have forgiven Judith, though at times I still have to battle negative thoughts. Steven experienced his share of love—and love lost—until he found happiness with a sweet young woman, Melissa, with whom he has a second family. I now have a granddaughter, named Lily after my mother, Astrid-Lily, and another grandson, Aiden, born on my birthday in 2009, a year and a half after his sister. Loren is in a loving relationship with a woman disabled by diabetes. He has lost both parents, and I worry about his future. I lost touch with Duane, though others have seen him in town. Father Simon died of a heart attack at age sixty-three, three years after Stephanie ’s death. Having realized many of life’s ups and downs, I have arrived at a place of tranquility and harmony. Martin is at my side, and I have time to write. I look out upon a beautiful garden he has planted, I watch yellow and orange butterflies wing among flowering bushes, and rabbits rustle beneath trees and the deer eat my roses. If Stephanie were here, she would love it all. But then, she is here, isn’t she? kf ...

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