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ix When it comes to writing a memoir, there are a lot of people to thank: those whose presence and support were indispensable during the living of the experience as well as those who helped me write about it. And many people fall into both categories. My old friend Angela Salas read an early draft of the manuscript and gave me positive feedback that kept me going, and several wonderful writers and friends gave me feedback in record time when I was on a tight deadline: Dianne Aprile, Terri Brown Davidson, Liza Greville, and Jody Lisberger. Joyce McDonald and Jill Storey offered me valuable critiques on other manuscripts that ended up helping me with this one as well. Others have been supportive of my work, provided lively conversations about books and parenting and life, offered babysitting, carpooling and dogsitting , and fed us: Rekha, Gaj, Mahita, and Manu Gajanan, Michele Hoover, Carol and Harold Newman, Kimberly Weinberg, Scott and Carys Evans Corrales, Helene and Larry Lawson, Eddie Lueken, Tim Ziaukas, Karen Hindhede and Jim Kaisen, and Rachel and Mike Meit. Nor could we have gotten by without the help of our international supernanny and dear friend Micquel Little. For the last thirty years, I’ve benefitted from the wisdom and inspiration of Anna Smith. Sara King’s humor and insight always give me perspective. Since childhood, Ruth Yoon has remained a good friend, and since I became a mother, she has been my most valuable resource on parenting an Asian daughter. I’m also grateful for having an energetic role model and enthusiastic supporter in my former teacher Heather Ross Miller, who still encourages us all thirty years later. The support of my late parents made it possible for me to be Sophie’s mom in the first place, and I’m grateful that they both got to be a part of her life along with my late aunt, Gena Shipley, whom I still wish I could call to ask for advice. No acknowledgments would be complete without mentioning Jody Shipley, Joe Shipley, Jim and Arlene McCabe, and Jeff, Bob, Sidney, Treven, and Megan McCabe. Acknowledgments Acknowledgments x I am grateful to Sena Jeter Naslund for inviting me to be a part of the amazing Spalding brief-residency MFA program. Sena and the rest of the program’s dedicated staff—Karen Mann, Kathleen Driskell, Katy Yocum, and Gayle Hanratty—manage to create an inspiring, warm atmosphere where faculty are nurtured and challenged as much as we nurture and challenge our students. The Hewlitt Foundation, the Pennsylvania Arts Council, the University of Pittsburgh at Bradford Faculty Development Committee, and the Division of Communication and the Arts all offered funding that assisted with my expenses. Special thanks to Jeff Guterman, Steve Hardin, and Sharie Radzavich. I’d also like to thank Jane Liedtke and her now-defunct Our Chinese Daughters Foundation, who organized our tour and took care of us along the way. I also want to acknowledge the many people who’ve been an important part of Sophie’s journey, especially Sarah Tingley and Patsy Arrowsmith at School Street Elementary. Michelle Feldman and the entire Bradford Flames coaching staff are an incomparable bunch who put in much underpaid and unpaid time to teach gymnastics skills—and to make our kids feel valued as individuals. Several magazines published pieces that appear in this book in somewhat altered form: “Threads,” Prairie schooner, Fall 2011; “The Art of Losing,” colorado review, Spring 2010; “Notes on a Dancing Daughter,” fourth genre, Spring 2010; “Still Dancing,” gulf coast, Spring 2009; “Running away from Home,” louisville review, Spring 2008; “Bats in the Attic,” hayden’s ferry review, Fall/Winter 2006; and “The Animals in the Walls,” crab orchard review, Winter/Spring 2005. I’ve had the privilege of working with the University of Missouri Press twice. I’d like to recognize those who ushered Meeting sophie so efficiently through the publication process when I had no idea what I was doing as well as those who contributed to making this a better book: Sara Davis, Jennifer Gravley, Clair Willcox, Julie Schroeder, Beth Chandler, Susan Ferber, and Stephanie Foley. Most of all, I’d like to thank my daughter, Sophie, who has enriched my life beyond measure. Her willingness to speak out, her pride in her heritage, her endless wisdom, and her enthusiasm for this project have provided inspiration and motivation. To some extent, this book was a collaborative effort; Sophie read or listened to most of this book...

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