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145 6 Sumling’s Death Sumling’s Suicide Sumling, a young woman in her late twenties and married to Durmin, hanged herself on August 9, 1989, in Tegpen, shortly before my arrival in Kulbi that year. Durmin, whom I knew well, described to me the circumstances of her death. At about noon that day, Sumling went to the river to wash clothes, or so she announced. She did not say anything about committing suicide, nor did she seem upset or angry. Durmin was at home, and when she told him she was going out, he asked her to stay and have lunch, as the meal was cooking. But she went anyway. Not seeing her come home after a while, Durmin set out to look for her and soon saw her hanging from a low branch of a tree right at the edge of the field. He ran towards her, but too late! Durmin, a little later, attempted to commit suicide himself. He tied a string (a thick fishing line) around his neck, but the string broke when he tried to hang himself, and I could see for several weeks thereafter a deep red mark around his neck. Why did Sumling kill herself? She was angry (meiseg) and jealous (meimun) because, reportedly, her husband was having an affair with Pawlina, the young wife of Saldin. Durmin indeed was suspected of seeing her secretly and giving her small presents. Although Durmin might have had an affair with another woman, Tama, before that, Sumling resented the reported affair or flirtation with Pawlina more acutely, and she was said to have a “deep anger inside her” (mesled neng iseg), although she did not show it and was rather demure. She was not prone to violent behavior, or even extreme jealousy. Sumling, according to all accounts, was a pretty, healthy, and mentally sane person. She was hard working, and their household was comparatively well off, with two water buffaloes and plenty of rice. She and Durmin had three children, 146 part t wo: suicide all in good health. Aside from the resentment conceivably accumulating within Sumling in recent weeks and months, she and her husband did not usually quarrel. None of her parents, grandparents, or siblings had committed suicide,1 and there was no particular problem in these relationships, except again with Mensuling, her elder brother, who was prone to anger. I always felt myself a certain apprehension towards Mensuling and found him a rather intimidating character. Three months before Sumling had left her husband and had come to stay for a while with her sister-in-law and her husband Taya. It was then known to Sumling that Durmin had visited Pawlina while the latter’s husband Saldin was away. Durmin was even reported to have had offered some money to Pawlina. When Saldin came back from the marketplace on the east coast, where he sold copra, he confronted Pawlina. As a result litigation was initiated, pitting Sumling’s older brothers, particularly Mensuling, against Durmin, who was then threatened with divorce. In spite of this, Durmin continued to see Pawlina and reportedly met her near the river and again gave her money. Sumling was apprised of this and confronted her husband, who said that he was prepared to divorce her and leave. But Sumling could not stand the idea of being separated from Durmin and beseeched him not to divorce her and to keep her as his wife even if he wanted to move out. In the meantime, Sumling’s elder brothers, Tungkaq and Mensuling, wanted to pronounce Durmin and Sumling divorced, or to have Taya, as a judge, repudiate Durmin. Sumling could not bear it and again told Durmin that she could not leave him or see him leave her. The next day Sumling went to the field to harvest rice and, at noon, hanged herself. I was able to witness and record the many discussions that took place in the aftermath of Sumling’s death (presented later in this chapter). Her family, and particularly her brothers, were enraged and accused Durmin of homicide. The latter had to leave his home and stay with his sister in another hamlet. I shall come back to this later. The main point about Sumling’s story, as far as her decision to end her life is concerned, seems to rest on two main emotional currents. The first one is based on jealousy (imun), grief (susa), and anger (iseg) when confronted with...

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