Japan: Economics in Everyday Life

2. Why Avoid the Altar?

2 Why Avoid the Altar? Andrew Mason and Naohiro Ogawa The decline in marriage and the disintegration of the traditional family are some of the most widely discussed changes affecting U.S. society. By comparison, Japan seems to be a country of remarkable social stability. But surprisingly , the status of marriage is changing even more rapidly in Japan than in the United States and men and women are marrying even later. In 1995, 66 percent of men and 49 percent of women in their late twenties were single. In the United States, the corresponding figures (in 1990) were 46 percent for men and 32 percent for women. Singaporeans and Japanese now marry at a later age than anyone else in the world. (In several Northern European countries, marriage occurs at a later age, but only if consensual unions, which are widespread, are not counted as marriages.) This is a radical change for a society in which marriage has been the norm. Among older generations, 99 percent of men and 98 percent of women have been married at some time during their lives. As younger generations increasingly choose to postpone tying the knot, the question becomes: “Will many Japanese forego marriage altogether?” The Meaning of Marriage Understanding the decline of marriage in Japan requires some understanding about what it means to be married and how 11 married life in Japan differs from married life in the West. There are, of course, commonalities between the two societies. However, when a young Japanese woman decides to marry she is undertaking commitments and obligations that are very different from those a young American woman might expect. These differences fall into three roles: wife, mother, and daughterin -law. First, her role as wife to her future husband is likely to reflect a different kind of relationship from that found in American marriages. In Japan, there is less emphasis on marital companionship and sharing, and Japanese women depend less on their relationship with their husbands for emotional satisfaction. Arranged marriages are no longer common in Japan, but romantic love plays a less important role in courtship and marriage. 12 Japan: Why It Works, Why It Doesn’t I do, but a little later Men and women in Japan are getting married a little later in life. Here is the average age of marriage in Japan. 27.6 24.6 28.7 25.9 29.7 26.9 29.8 27.2 1970 1980 1990 1994 Source: Asahi Shimbun, Japan Almanac 1997 Men Women In part, the relationship between husbands and wives is a product of specialization. The typical Japanese husband is the quintessential breadwinner. He works long hours, stays out late, and is rarely involved in child rearing and housekeeping activities . According to the most recent international time budget study, Japanese men aged twenty to fifty-nine devoted only twenty minutes a day to household activities such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, or child care. By contrast, American men spent more than two hours a day helping around the house. Second, a Japanese woman’s role as mother is different from an American woman’s in important respects. For most Japanese women, the most essential relationship is between herself and her children. Childless marriages are less common in Japan than in the United States. A high percentage of Japanese women begin childbearing shortly after marriage, have two children, and then stop. Unlike in the United States, births outside marriage are rare. For Japanese women, being married and rearing children are more synonymous than for American women. Third, when a Japanese woman marries, she takes on important responsibilities as a daughter-in-law. Japan is a patrilineal society. When a woman marries, she becomes part of her husband ’s family. If she marries an eldest son, she and her husband , by tradition, live with his parents and she assists her mother-in-law in running the household. She also becomes the primary caregiver if and when her husband’s parents reach old age. These traditions have weakened over time and more elderly Japanese are now living independently from their children . Still, when a Japanese woman marries, she is more likely than her American counterpart to live with her husband’s parents , and she can expect to devote much more time and effort providing care to her husband’s parents than most American women would ever dream of. One other important aspect of marriage in Japan is...