The Book of Seventy

Prayer in Autumn

40 prAyer in AuTumn As to the deep ineradicable flaws in the workmanship anger and envy anger and envy stemming from overenthusiasm that rises like a water lily from mud and the stone of self, of ego that insists on its imperial monologue that strangles its audience I would like to repent but I cannot I am ridden like a horse  What does the contriver have in mind the contrivance wants to know because otherwise what is the point of all this moaning pretending to be sorry for everything groveling like a chained-up snake crawling over a stone book in the rain of words for which someone is responsible until at times the food devours the eater the pot wishes to speak to the potter the clay chooses the hands  41 We are not competent to make our vows we are truly sorry we pull you down from a cloud or bend our knees to you like sideshow dogs death breathing invisibly next to us on the bus in the office in the kitchen on the park bench we promise to love only you faithful, faithful, we promise we lie, we are not competent still we implore you please look at us and take us in your arms not like a master, like a mother ...