After the Fall: Poems Old and New

from “A Man and His Penis”

from “A Man and His Penis” Old Acquaintance Deirdre! Come out! Come out from behind that screen. I’ve been hiding behind screens since before you were born. —Bette Davis, in Old Acquaintance Old friend, we’ve come through in pretty good shape, so far, better, in fact, than during those angst-filled years when you wrecked my life and I wrecked yours. Remember? But, back then, we didn’t appreciate each other, did we—like an ill-matched couple, a bad job by an incompetent marriage broker, or who just got married out of general horniness rather than any real compatibility. I never liked your looks or size, and you had ideas of your own I couldn’t figure out, though I responded to your goading and roamed the nights away. My God, what you led me into, and I got you into some pretty tight fixes myself. Life is less strenuous now. In our golden years, you make few demands. We’ve both come to like a bit of a wank, with none of the old recriminations after. 195 And I’ve even learned to admire, as I pose in the mirror, your silky length, respect your sulky independence. I wonder that I ever thought you insufficient, myself under-endowed— or else you’ve grown. Best of all, I’m impressed by how good we look together— the proportions seem just right. So, Good Cock, dick, prick, dong, lul, bite, schwantz, wang, willie, weenie, and all your other names, if you’ve a mind to, now, and I’d say you’ve earned it, stand up, old friend, with me and take a bow. 196 ...