Blowout

Tina and the Bruised Hearts

14 tina and the Bruised Hearts I’ve always been a cautious woman so, though I’ve never bounced a check, I have overdraft protection. Because of this, my ex is able to take money out of our account long after it’s empty. The irony is I have to pay the money back plus a $49 fee for each of his ATM withdrawals. Shirlene, I say to a nametag, please, you’ve got to help me close this account. Shirlene says she’ll need my ex’s signature. I tell her he’s in Europe. She’s sorry for me, but that’s just the way it is. Shirlene, I plead, has a man ever done you wrong? Tina, I beg the next teller, what am I going to do? Tina says we can get rid of the overdraft protection, but we’ll need his signature for that, too. Tina, has anyone ever taken your trust and snapped it like a twig? When the other customers ask me, What’s the matter? I realize I’m sobbing and hunched near a coffee machine with Styrofoam cups and powdered creamer. I’m led to an office where Shirlene and Tina can speak freely. They both have had a man disappear and take their faith and confidence with him. He did what? they ask me. I sputter more of my story as Shirlene whispers, Look, that s.o.b. just took out another five hundred bucks. Tina stands behind Shirlene, hovering over the screen. Goddamn! Tina says, You’re right. It looks like he’s in Amsterdam. What time is it over there? Shirlene deactivates the account, the numbers 15 unscrambling like a bad marriage. For a moment, we become a girl group, Tina and the Bruised Hearts. My lawyer says I should put a fraud alert on myself so my ex can’t open any new joint accounts. That works except now I can’t get a phone in my name without a hefty deposit to prove I’m really me. You can’t blame AT&T— Tina, Shirlene, and I are almost indistinguishable as we step up to harmonize in our hot pink hologram lamé. ...