American Poetry Now: Pitt Poetry Series Anthology

Quan Barry

Quan BarryteachesattheUniversityof Wisconsin–Madison.Sheisthe authorof ControvertiblesandAsylum,whichwontheAgnesLynchStarrett PoetryPrize.ShehasbeenawardedaNationalEndowmentfortheArts Fellowshipaswellasa00PushcartPrize.  4 quan barry the exiled (from “child of the enemy”) IlikeditinSouthVietnam. —Lieutenant WiLLiaM CaLLey Later whentheblack andwhitephotoscamein therice sinkinginitsmakeshiftgraveattheright of thepicture threechildrenwound abouttheirmotherlikemeatonaspit oneeye rollingloose amazed inthedead silenceof theframe thefreshlydead posedhastily eachwound breakingopenlikeasmile eacheye cockedasif winkingundertheblack hoodof hair thestalkedrice abackdrop nobodywantedtowrite thestory afterall noamericaninhisright mindwouldrisetothisblack mission 0civiliansdead gunneddownintheeye of thehunt itwasneveraboutthem therice lushinwaystheirchildrencouldneverbe wound sotightlytooldwounds thechinese thefrench nowthisblue-eyed christseatedattheright of thethrone comingtosavethemfromablack plaguethatleftsomanydead rottinginfieldslikeunharvestedrice thisiswhereitbegan intherice paddiesof vietnam mymother herright handgrippingtheearth’sblack pillow thenightbleedinglikeawound thesoldierdiggingintoherwiththedead weightof hislust everystaranamazedeye  4 quan barry rollinglooseinthenight ninemonths i hadjustonepicturetakeninsaigon myblack hairsprouting toeswound inknots mouthlikeafist therice paperriddledwithfigures myright footinked markedlikeaprayerforthedead listen youdon’tknowme eyeswildasrice likewoundsscarredblack lieutenant if revengeisariteof passage ineedyoudead intermurals Thefirsttimemymotherdecidedtocome somebodylostaneye.Almost,besides, valedictorian,ivyleague-bound,LoneArdiff hadnoright beingonthefield,thefifteenfibrousseams bastinghereyelidtogether aconsequenceof this.Thesecondtime itwasZoëBurbridgewholeanedintoit,jumpedback likeadancerwiththespirit,hercheekbonesplit, freshasanoyster.Afterthat,mymotherstayedhome fourlongyears,noteventrekkingtotheBerkshires,NESN andthestatechampionshipwhereImade thatincompletepassoutof bounds,handsnumb withDecember,theballhardasanexplicatedrumor,pillaging freeatlast.Shesaidshedidn’tspendthesixties braburningsoherdaughtercouldmasterthesubtleart of bloodlettinginakilt.Suityourself.Likemarijuana fieldhockeyledtoharsherthings— lacrosse,twosemestersof collegiaterugby whereIlearnedtotakeitlikeaman, dishthedirt,wrapmyarmsaroundtheenemy’sknees andsnap,thecontactinflictedwithaffection.It’sonlynow Iremembertheonewhodidn’tgetup,thegirl theycarriedoff thefieldinafireman’sstretcher,legcockedback  4 quan barry rollinglooseinthenight ninemonths i hadjustonepicturetakeninsaigon myblack hairsprouting toeswound inknots mouthlikeafist therice paperriddledwithfigures myright footinked markedlikeaprayerforthedead listen youdon’tknowme eyeswildasrice likewoundsscarredblack lieutenant if revengeisariteof passage ineedyoudead intermurals Thefirsttimemymotherdecidedtocome somebodylostaneye.Almost,besides, valedictorian,ivyleague-bound,LoneArdiff hadnoright beingonthefield,thefifteenfibrousseams bastinghereyelidtogether aconsequenceof this.Thesecondtime itwasZoëBurbridgewholeanedintoit,jumpedback likeadancerwiththespirit,hercheekbonesplit, freshasanoyster.Afterthat,mymotherstayedhome fourlongyears,noteventrekkingtotheBerkshires,NESN andthestatechampionshipwhereImade thatincompletepassoutof bounds,handsnumb withDecember,theballhardasanexplicatedrumor,pillaging freeatlast.Shesaidshedidn’tspendthesixties braburningsoherdaughtercouldmasterthesubtleart of bloodlettinginakilt.Suityourself.Likemarijuana fieldhockeyledtoharsherthings— lacrosse,twosemestersof collegiaterugby whereIlearnedtotakeitlikeaman, dishthedirt,wrapmyarmsaroundtheenemy’sknees andsnap,thecontactinflictedwithaffection.It’sonlynow Iremembertheonewhodidn’tgetup,thegirl theycarriedoff thefieldinafireman’sstretcher,legcockedback  4 quan barry likeacarbine.Itgoeswithoutsaying thatIwasexultant,frenziedwiththepower tocripple.Whowouldn’tbe? Allthoseyearsmymotherstayedhome determinedlikeaconscientiousobjector toblowthiswalltumblingdown. tradition Mymothersays womenweremadetobleed andthewholething takestwentyminutes. Shesaysafterwards they’llwrapmeuplikeabutterfly forfortynights andI’lldrinkonlycamel’smilk. Mymothersays tomorrow I’llbealittlebride handsredwithhenna. I’llbeshininginwhite andgettowearasmuchgold asIwant.Shesaysafterwards somethingwillgetkilled andthewholeclan willcometoeat onlytheywon’t sitdown untilI’vebeenwashed intheNile. Mymothersaystomorrow theblacksmith’swife willcutawayapartof me Idon’tneed.Shesays itmighthurt if theblacksmith’swife usesscissorsinsteadof aknife. Mysistersaysather khefad theblacksmith’swifeusedglass andthentiedhershut withacaciathorns andhorsehairandMother hadtoremindhertoput amatchheadinthewound sothewholething wouldn’thealclosed andmysister couldstillpee. Myauntsaysupnorth theyusesomethingcalledcautery whichmeanstheymakethatplace burnlikethesun. MymothersaysIhavenothing tofear becausewomenlikeus weremadetobleed. Mymothersayssomeday I’llmeetaman who’llwantmesmoothandsmall. Shesayswe’llmarry andhe’lltakeadagger andslitmeopen likealetteraddressed justtohim.  4 quan barry likeacarbine.Itgoeswithoutsaying thatIwasexultant,frenziedwiththepower tocripple.Whowouldn’tbe? Allthoseyearsmymotherstayedhome determinedlikeaconscientiousobjector toblowthiswalltumblingdown. tradition Mymothersays womenweremadetobleed andthewholething takestwentyminutes. Shesaysafterwards they’llwrapmeuplikeabutterfly forfortynights andI’lldrinkonlycamel’smilk. Mymothersays tomorrow I’llbealittlebride handsredwithhenna. I’llbeshininginwhite andgettowearasmuchgold asIwant.Shesaysafterwards somethingwillgetkilled andthewholeclan willcometoeat onlytheywon’t sitdown untilI’vebeenwashed intheNile. Mymothersaystomorrow theblacksmith’swife willcutawayapartof me Idon’tneed.Shesays itmighthurt if theblacksmith’swife usesscissorsinsteadof aknife. Mysistersaysather khefad theblacksmith’swifeusedglass andthentiedhershut withacaciathorns andhorsehairandMother hadtoremindhertoput amatchheadinthewound sothewholething wouldn’thealclosed andmysister couldstillpee. Myauntsaysupnorth theyusesomethingcalledcautery whichmeanstheymakethatplace burnlikethesun. MymothersaysIhavenothing tofear becausewomenlikeus weremadetobleed. Mymothersayssomeday I’llmeetaman who’llwantmesmoothandsmall. Shesayswe’llmarry andhe’lltakeadagger andslitmeopen likealetteraddressed justtohim.  4 quan barry MymothersaystomorrowI’ll bealittlebride.Shesays thewholethingtakes twentyminutes andafterfortydays I’llcomeoutjustlikeher smoothandsmall lipssealed. crossing the South China Sea as analgesia Onedaywewillallbelikethis—theboat’ssickeningpitch,&thedelicateness needless,consumable. Howeverythingherenaturallypassesintonight,aroom w/owalls. Couldmindlessnesskeepusalive?Couldbrightcolors? TonightIamthinkingof theyoungwomanwhodreamsof herfather beingshotinthehead.Imagineneedingtobelievetheoneyoulove hasbeendestroyed. Nowitisaftermidnight—thespindriftlunar&diaphanous.Herealoneondeck couldImakepeacew/itallinthirtyseconds—thewater’sinherentrising,thegasping forair? Ihaveneverseensuchomnipresence,suchvastdreamlessness— butItooamsuchthings. Whatdoesitmeantobeeroded?Whatwouldbethesignificanceof slippingoneleg overtherail&straddlingtheindifference? Yes.Onceuponatimewespentthreedaysonaboatoutof Kobé,Japan. Allnightthewaves.Allnightthesomnambulisticurges. Orhowaschildrenwewouldswiminahardrain—thelake’ssurfaceragged&torn, butunderneath therootsof thewaterlilieslikeladders trailingdownintothemarvelous. 0 4 quan barry MymothersaystomorrowI’ll bealittlebride.Shesays thewholethingtakes twentyminutes andafterfortydays I’llcomeoutjustlikeher smoothandsmall lipssealed. crossing the South China Sea as analgesia Onedaywewillallbelikethis—theboat’ssickeningpitch,&thedelicateness needless,consumable. Howeverythingherenaturallypassesintonight,aroom w/owalls. Couldmindlessnesskeepusalive?Couldbrightcolors? TonightIamthinkingof theyoungwomanwhodreamsof herfather beingshotinthehead.Imagineneedingtobelievetheoneyoulove hasbeendestroyed. Nowitisaftermidnight—thespindriftlunar&diaphanous.Herealoneondeck couldImakepeacew/itallinthirtyseconds—thewater’sinherentrising,thegasping forair? Ihaveneverseensuchomnipresence,suchvastdreamlessness— butItooamsuchthings. Whatdoesitmeantobeeroded?Whatwouldbethesignificanceof slippingoneleg overtherail&straddlingtheindifference? Yes.Onceuponatimewespentthreedaysonaboatoutof Kobé,Japan. Allnightthewaves.Allnightthesomnambulisticurges. Orhowaschildrenwewouldswiminahardrain—thelake’ssurfaceragged&torn, butunderneath therootsof thewaterlilieslikeladders trailingdownintothemarvelous. 0 4 quan barry Emmett Till’s Open Casket as La Pietá Todayontheradio,newsof thegreatlady’sdeath. Ithinkof herbreakingthecoroner’sseals,pryingherwayin tohim. HowathousandmilesawaysheheardhimcryingintheMississippinight,calling hername&whenthesecondblackmanever stoodupincourt,hesaidasmuch. Thisisthelitanyof injuries:thebodywaterlogged,monstrous,oneeyegougedout, hanginghalfwaydownhischeek,thenosebroken&mostlymissing, aholeinthesideof hiscrushedheadwherethelightcamethrough, &themarkswheretheytiedthefanw/barbedwire tohisneck. Becausethechildwouldn’tbegforhislife. LetthemseewhatIsaw. &wecame.Forthreestraightdayswecame&looked atheronlyson. Theyarebeatinghiminthebarn. WhenMaryholdsthedeadChristinherarms shehasseeneverything buttheResurrection. Doug Flutie’s 1984 Orange Bowl Hail Mary as Water into Fire Listenw/odistraction. Evenbeforeitsincarnationweweretransported,whichistosay wewerethere,theMiaminight larval,charged. ReadthistomewhenI’mdying,whenI’mintheintermediatestate— myconsciousnessdissipatingthroughtheelements.  4 quan barry Didthechild-meknowitwouldbeallright,thatthenextsixsecondswouldrepresent humanexistence? Thisisthewayitalwaysbegins:inhuddledconfusion,thentheobject churningtowardapredeterminedend. Thereisaplan.Thereishope.Thensomethinghappens. Lovecomes&goes.Anger.Happiness.Decay.Amanstandsontheotherside &holdsouthishands. Somethingissailingthroughthenewyear. Teacher,callmebymyothername.Tellmetobreathethroughmyeyes,see thepaththroughtheluminosity. Wearetheball.Wearethearcthroughtheair.Wearethenotimeleftontheclock &thedisbeliever. ReadthistomewhenI’mdying,whenI’mneitherhere northere. Say,“Grabontonothing&itwillcometoyou.”  4 quan barry ...