The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle

Chapter LXXVIII

Volume Two, Chapter LXXVIII 331 “In consequence of my rank and character I obtain free admission to the ladies, among whom I have obtained the appellation of the Scandalous Chronicle; and as I am considered (while silent) in no other light than that of a footstool or elbow chair, they divest their conversation of all restraint before me, and gratify my sense of hearing with strange things, which (if I could prevail upon myself to give the world that satisfaction) would compose a curious piece of secret history, and exhibit a quite different idea of characters from what is commonly entertained. “By this time, young gentleman, you may perceive, that I have it in my power to be a valuable correspondent; and that it will be your interest to deserve my confidence.” chapter lxxviii. A treaty is concluded betwixt Cadwallader and our hero; in consequence of which divers pleasant adventures occur, until the young gentleman is summoned to the garison on a very interesting occasion. Here the Misanthrope left off speaking, desirous to know the sentiments of our hero, who embraced the proffered alliance, in a transport of joy and surprize; and the treaty was no sooner concluded than Mr. Crabtree began to perform articles, by imparting to him a thousand delicious secrets, from the possession of which he promised himself innumerable scenes of mirth and enjoyment. By means of this associate , whom he considered as the ring of Gyges,1 he foresaw that he should be enabled to penetrate not only into the chambers but even to the inmost thoughts of the female sex; and, in order to ward off suspicion, they agreed to revile each other in public, and meet at a certain private rendezvous, to communicate their mutual discoveries, and concert their future operations. So precious did Peregrine esteem this treasure, that he would not even make his friend Godfrey acquainted with his good fortune, tho’ the first use he made of it, was in behalf of that young gentleman, whom he undeceived in two very interesting particulars. The soldier’s addresses were, at that time, shared betwixt two ladies, who received them in a very different manner. By one of them he was caress’d with marks of particular regard, and by small favours flattered with the expectation of supreme success; while the other treated him with such severity and shyness, that he could never find an opportunity or resolution to make an unrestricted declaration of his flame. As every woman has a confidant, to whom she pours forth her heart on these occasions, Mr. Crabtree happened to be present when each of them disburthened herself of her sentiments with regard to her lover; and learned from their own confessions, that the frank lady cajoled him for the sake of the money which he suffered himself to lose at cards, though she had not the least intention to extend her complaisance beyond the limits of exterior civilities; while the prude was actually enamoured of his person, and through 332 The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle a remnant of modesty avoided him for no other reason, but because she knew herself incapable of resisting his sollicitations. Mr. Gauntlet profited by this discovery, which was communicated to him through the canal of his friend, relinquished the mercenary coquet, and found means to vanquish the reserve of the other. Peregrine himself was, in like manner, set to rights, in certain opinions he had conceived of his own influence with particular ladies; and as no person ever offended him with inpunity, he projected a scheme of vengeance against a remarkable inamorato, who to his assiduities preferred those of a brawny fellow, that, from the place of a private trooper in the horse-guards, had been preferred to the rank of a lieutenant, by the interest of a dowager lately deceased. With this favourite did the lady make an assignation, in the hearing of Cadwallader, who gave our hero to understand , that he was to be received by her woman, in the dark, at a parlour-door that opened into a small garden, the wall of which he could easily overleap, after the servants should be retired to rest. Peregrine, fraught with this intelligence, resolved to anticipate his rival; and accordingly , by the ministration of his companion, engaged a couple of stout chairmen, who being posted on the spot, seized the lover in his endeavours to surmount the wall, and conveyed him to a place of confinement...