Spells: New and Selected Poems

From Marina Tsvetaeva: A Captive Spirit

161 From​Marina Tsvetaeva: A Captive Spirit act​iii Scene 3 Outside the office of the Council for the Writers Union in the tiny town of Chistopol. Marina is waiting anxiously with Lidiya. marina My​fate​is​being​decided​now.​If​they​refuse​me​a​residence​permit​for​ Chistopol,​I​will​die.​I​feel​sure​they​will​refuse.​I’ll​throw​myself​in​the​ river​Kama. lidiya The​woman​in​gray​looked​up​at​me,​slightly​bending​her​head​to​one​ side.​Her​face​was​the​same​as​the​beret:​gray.​A​delicate​face​but​puffy. marina I​hardly​write​any​poems​and​this​is​why:​I​cannot​limit​myself​to​ one​poem—they​come​to​me​in​families,​in​cycles,​as​a​funnel​or​even​ a​whirlpool​in​which​I​find​myself,​and​consequently​the​problem​is​ time. lidiya Sunken cheeks and eyes yellowish-green staring stubbornly. Her glance heavy, inquisitive. No smile at all, either on her lips or her eyes, and sentences without intonation. oFFicial [emerging from the Council offices] Marina​Tsvetaeva,​your​permit​to​reside​in​Chistopol​has​been​ approved.​And​it​is​also​likely​that​you​will​be​approved​for​the​​ job​as​dishwasher​in​the​Writers’​Canteen. 162 lidiya That’s​wonderful!​Now​you​will​be​able​to​feed​your​son. marina [panicking] Is​it?​Is​it​really​worth​looking​for​a​room?​Anyway,​I​won’t​find​ anything.​If​I​find​a​room,​they​won’t​give​me​work.​I​won’t​have​ anything​to​live​on. lidiya You​are​very​lucky. [They start walking.] I’m​glad​Akhmatova​is​not​in​Chistopol.​She​would​never​have​ survived. marina [suspiciously] Why? lidiya Because​she​would​not​have​been​able​to​cope​with​life​here.​You​know​ that​she​cannot​do​anything​practical​at​all.​Even​in​city​life,​even​in​ peacetime. marina [angry] What! 163 lidiya I​saw​the​gray​face​at​my​side​twitch. marina [shouting furiously] And​you​think​that​I​—​I​can?​Akhmatova​cannot​and​I,​you​think​I​ can? lidiya I​didn’t​mean​that,​no! That’s​not​what​I​meant,​Marina! akhmatova​and​marina Timid,​like​a​thief, oh—not​touching​a​soul! I​sat​down​at​the​absent​table​setting, the​uninvited,​the​seventh​one. There!​I​knocked​over​a​glass! And​everything​that​thirsted​to​spill​out— all​the​salt​from​my​eyes,​all​the​blood​from​my​wounds— from​the​tablecloth​onto​the​floor. And​there​is​no​grave!​There​is​no​separation! The​spell​is​gone​from​the​table,​the​house​is​awakened! like​death​to​a​wedding​feast, I—life,​came​to​supper. I​am​no​one:​not​a​brother,​not​a​son,​not​a​husband, not​a​friend—and​still​I​reproach​you: you​who​set​the​table​for​six​souls, not​seating​me—at​the​edge. chorus Mother​Marina,​death​follows​your​heart, death​walks​with​footsteps​that​echo​your​words. 164 Raise​your​head​slowly,​and​listen​again, Mother​Marina,​Mother​Marina. Scene 4 The room in Yelabuga. Lidiya has been talking with Marina. She leaves the room and shuts the door. lidiya Her​poetry​had​no​home. Death​came​to​the​wedding​feast. Death​came​to​the​wedding​feast. chorus It’s​time​to​take​off​the​amber, it’s​time​to​change​the​language it’s​time​to​extinguish​the​lantern above​the​door. Marina is visible in silhouette writing a note. mur On​the​8th​of​August​1941,​I​was​evacuated​to​Yelabuga​with​my​ mother​Marina​Ivanovna. marina Murlyga!​Forgive​me,​but​to​go​on​would​be​worse. mur We​arrived​on​the​17th.​On​the​26th​Marina​went​for​two​days​to​ Chistopol;​she​returned​on​the​28th​to​Yelabuga, marina I​am​gravely​ill,​this​is​not​me​anymore. 165 mur where​she​committed​suicide​on​August​31.​She​was​buried​in​the​ Yelabuga​cemetery. marina I​love​you​passionately.​Do​understand​that​I​could​not​live​anymore. mur It’s​time​to​take​off​the​amber. It’s​time​to​change​the​language. marina Tell​Papa​and​Alya,​if​you​ever​see​them,​that​I​loved​them​to​the​last​ moment​and​explain​to​them​that​I​found​myself​in​a​trap. mur It’s​time​to​take​off​the​amber, it’s​time​to​change​the​language...