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From Marina Tsvetaeva: A Captive Spirit
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161 FromMarina Tsvetaeva: A Captive Spirit actiii Scene 3 Outside the office of the Council for the Writers Union in the tiny town of Chistopol. Marina is waiting anxiously with Lidiya. marina Myfateisbeingdecidednow.Iftheyrefusemearesidencepermitfor Chistopol,Iwilldie.Ifeelsuretheywillrefuse.I’llthrowmyselfinthe riverKama. lidiya Thewomaningraylookedupatme,slightlybendingherheadtoone side.Herfacewasthesameastheberet:gray.Adelicatefacebutpuffy. marina Ihardlywriteanypoemsandthisiswhy:Icannotlimitmyselfto onepoem—theycometomeinfamilies,incycles,asafunneloreven awhirlpoolinwhichIfindmyself,andconsequentlytheproblemis time. lidiya Sunken cheeks and eyes yellowish-green staring stubbornly. Her glance heavy, inquisitive. No smile at all, either on her lips or her eyes, and sentences without intonation. oFFicial [emerging from the Council offices] MarinaTsvetaeva,yourpermittoresideinChistopolhasbeen approved.Anditisalsolikelythatyouwillbeapprovedforthe jobasdishwasherintheWriters’Canteen. 162 lidiya That’swonderful!Nowyouwillbeabletofeedyourson. marina [panicking] Isit?Isitreallyworthlookingforaroom?Anyway,Iwon’tfind anything.IfIfindaroom,theywon’tgivemework.Iwon’thave anythingtoliveon. lidiya Youareverylucky. [They start walking.] I’mgladAkhmatovaisnotinChistopol.Shewouldneverhave survived. marina [suspiciously] Why? lidiya Becauseshewouldnothavebeenabletocopewithlifehere.Youknow thatshecannotdoanythingpracticalatall.Evenincitylife,evenin peacetime. marina [angry] What! [18.222.69.152] Project MUSE (2024-04-16 09:50 GMT) 163 lidiya Isawthegrayfaceatmysidetwitch. marina [shouting furiously] AndyouthinkthatI—Ican?AkhmatovacannotandI,youthinkI can? lidiya Ididn’tmeanthat,no! That’snotwhatImeant,Marina! akhmatovaandmarina Timid,likeathief, oh—nottouchingasoul! Isatdownattheabsenttablesetting, theuninvited,theseventhone. There!Iknockedoveraglass! Andeverythingthatthirstedtospillout— allthesaltfrommyeyes,allthebloodfrommywounds— fromthetableclothontothefloor. Andthereisnograve!Thereisnoseparation! Thespellisgonefromthetable,thehouseisawakened! likedeathtoaweddingfeast, I—life,cametosupper. Iamnoone:notabrother,notason,notahusband, notafriend—andstillIreproachyou: youwhosetthetableforsixsouls, notseatingme—attheedge. chorus MotherMarina,deathfollowsyourheart, deathwalkswithfootstepsthatechoyourwords. 164 Raiseyourheadslowly,andlistenagain, MotherMarina,MotherMarina. Scene 4 The room in Yelabuga. Lidiya has been talking with Marina. She leaves the room and shuts the door. lidiya Herpoetryhadnohome. Deathcametotheweddingfeast. Deathcametotheweddingfeast. chorus It’stimetotakeofftheamber, it’stimetochangethelanguage it’stimetoextinguishthelantern abovethedoor. Marina is visible in silhouette writing a note. mur Onthe8thofAugust1941,IwasevacuatedtoYelabugawithmy motherMarinaIvanovna. marina Murlyga!Forgiveme,buttogoonwouldbeworse. mur Wearrivedonthe17th.Onthe26thMarinawentfortwodaysto Chistopol;shereturnedonthe28thtoYelabuga, marina Iamgravelyill,thisisnotmeanymore. [18.222.69.152] Project MUSE (2024-04-16 09:50 GMT) 165 mur whereshecommittedsuicideonAugust31.Shewasburiedinthe Yelabugacemetery. marina Iloveyoupassionately.DounderstandthatIcouldnotliveanymore. mur It’stimetotakeofftheamber. It’stimetochangethelanguage. marina TellPapaandAlya,ifyoueverseethem,thatIlovedthemtothelast momentandexplaintothemthatIfoundmyselfinatrap. mur It’stimetotakeofftheamber, it’stimetochangethelanguage...