Door in the Mountain: New and Collected Poems, 1965-2003

Ikon

If the ELISA test is positive, a second test, called Western Blot, will be run on the same blood sample to confirm the result. The palm of your glove is powder on my mouth, powder in my fear, your rough tongue your talk is warm on the cool hospital issue black silk blindfold crackhouse blindfold you green in the dark tying a rubber strap around my arm playing the radio your heavy head, green in the dark. Are you still in the room? Are you still in the house? Then you, Doctor, you say sincerely, “You can always go on suicide neutral, then everyone, from both sides, from his side and her side, will leave you alone.” And Mother State, you say, “You are not enough. I am. Eat me, and I will raise you up. On TV, eat me. Chew me, gingerly, like chewing ice, eat me. America. Eat me.” Ikon Swim in you, sleep in you, let me, Mother Lord, all this hour 186 door in the mountain —I am your cloth of gold swaddled firstchild safe in danger (you are in danger) one hand curled around your bending neck, the other rested on your black breast, just above your star. Winter in the world is winter here in you but summer, too, oh my play, my eyes, my light. Black hill of consolation! There is no book and my name is written in it, my heart makes an earth crib for your heart. The Year of the Snake I had to ask you questions: if I didn’t, well you’d think I’d robbed a bank. And then, blood all over, God, I would’ve robbed a bank. But my old God, my questions were too small for you. You were so much older, you knew so much. You used your words like bricks, whole leathery old books black with words, to wall me out, words gold as booze, to leave the room, leave me, leave us. Oh since that time, I have learned to let you go and live . . . Now my friend happy as God I sit down and comb your hair. Your hair shines like honey like sex like the current in the river. the river at wolf 187 ...